Wednesday, 29 May 2024;
Sometime in the late morning or early afternoon a beautiful, intelligent and extremely sensitive 21 year old young woman took her life. Even though she had a loving and caring family who knew she was having trouble and were trying their best, she found a way. She was determined. She was determined to get rid of the demons that haunted her.
I wasn’t here last Friday because her aunt and I were spending the day with her family doing what we could to care and console. But how can you really console someone for such a tragic event?
This past Wednesday we were there for the internment of her ashes. Her mother and father. Her two sisters. Her brother-in-law and her new nephew. Her aunt and I. Small, intimate and private, just like her.
I would love to share her picture and tell you more of her story, but her family isn’t ready. Yes, many in their community already know. How could they not with emergency responders coming to the house?
I will share that according to one of the deputies who responded, (he had been the resource officer at her HS) she was the 8th suicide from that HS during his 5 year tenure, which included the COVID years. And yes, she had had COVID.
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
We can all help prevent suicide. The 988 Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals in the United States.
CALL 988
This is the second time in less than two years that I’ve been this close to a suicide or an attempt. It’s triggering and extremely emotional for me. And if you want to count a late night conversation with an on-line friend, it’s the 3rd in 4 years.
The on-line encounter involved listening and pointing out the positive things of why they needed to hang around. The other involved an unsuccessful attempt.
We don’t always see when someone is in the kind of crisis where they can’t see any way out, but sometimes we can.
If someone you know is struggling emotionally or having a hard time, you can be the difference in getting them the help they need. It’s important to take care of yourself when you are supporting someone through a difficult time, as this may stir up difficult emotions. If it does, please reach out for support yourself.
Some warning signs may help you determine if a loved one is at risk for suicide, especially if the behavior is new, has increased, or seems related to a painful event, loss, or change. If you or someone you know exhibits any of these, seek help by calling the Lifeline.
- Talking about wanting to die or to kill themselves
- Looking for a way to kill themselves, like searching online or buying a gun
- Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live
- Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain
- Talking about being a burden to others
- Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs
- Acting anxious or agitated; behaving recklessly
- Sleeping too little or too much
- Withdrawing or isolating themselves
- Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge
- Extreme mood swings
Never keep it a secret if a friend tells you about a plan to hurt themselves. Call 988 so that you can find out what resources are available in your area, or encourage your loved one to call. Calls are routed to the Lifeline center closest to your area code that can provide you with local resources.
Wherever or whenever you can, help save a life. It may be a family member or a friend. Reach out. And listen.