A Trip in the Wayback Machine
As the MAGA cult assembles in Wisconsin to drool over Trump’s Project 2025, we note that it was on July 15, 1948 when President Harry Truman accepted the nomination for another term at the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia. And, man, talk about sounding like a broken record—his words expressed a frustration at Republican obstruction that could've been sounded by any Democratic president in the 79 years since:
“On the Labor Department, the Republican platform of 1944 said, if they were in power, that they would build up a strong Labor Department. They have simply torn it up. Only one bureau is left that is functioning, and they cut the appropriation of that so it can hardly function.
I recommended an increase in the minimum wage. What did I get? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Spoiler Alert: He won.
I suggested that the schools in this country are crowded, teachers underpaid, and that there is a shortage of teachers. One of our greatest national needs is more and better schools. I urged Congress to provide $300 million to aid the States in the present educational crisis. Congress did nothing about it
Time and again I have recommended improvements in the Social Security law, including extending protection to those not now covered, and increasing the amount of benefits, to reduce the eligibility age of women from 65 to 60 years. Congress studied the matter for 2 years, but couldn't find time to extend or increase the benefits. But they did find the time to take Social Security benefits away from 750,000 people, and they passed that over my veto.
I have repeatedly asked the Congress to pass a health program. The Nation suffers from lack of medical care. That situation can be remedied any time the Congress wants to act upon it.
The GOP: grand old pricks since forever.
And now, our feature presentation...
Cheers and Jeers for Monday, July 15, 2024
Note: Today is National Respect Canada Day. Also known as the easiest holiday to celebrate ever.
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3 days!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til the Paris Olympics: 11
Days 'til the Delaware State Fair in Harrington: 3
Drop in inflation on President Biden's watch as of June: 9% to 3%
First-time unemployment claims announced last week, down 17k from the previous week: 222,000
Percent chance that a proposed amendment to New York’s constitution barring discrimination over “gender identity” and “pregnancy outcomes” will appear on the ballot this November, after a ruling by the NY Court of Appeals: 100%
Number of auto factories that will use $1.7 billion announced by the Biden administration last week to retool for making electric vehicles: 11
Age of actress Shelley Duvall when she died last Thursday: 75
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Patience…
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CHEERS to blowin' this popsicle stand we call the United States. Hooray—it's a great era for coal! And by that I mean it's a great era for coal to finally get the f*ck out of our lives…
Wind power generated more electricity than coal in the U.S. in March and April, a sign that the setbacks offshore wind faced last year have not halted the industry’s broader momentum.
“Twirl, baby, twirl.”
Though the U.S. Energy Information Administration predicts these standings will fluctuate, the energy generated by coal has steadily declined since 2008 while wind power has increased. […]
Wind power remains a relatively small part of broader U.S. energy production — 10.2% in 2023, according to the Energy Information Administration—behind natural gas (43.1%) and nuclear (18.6%), but makes up almost half of all renewable energy production.
Extra bonus: no hospital will ever have to treat a single wind miner for "turbine lung."
JEERS to Point & Laugh, Day One. Tonight in "Horrible Milwaukee," a series of MAGA cult speakers (we're guessing they'll start out with their dimmest bulbs: Scott Baio, Ted Nugent, Victoria Jackson, Ronny Johnson…er, Jackson, Eric) will slouch up to a lectern—for which, we hear, Sarah Huckabee Sanders paid $27,000 to a no-bid contractor buddy whose day job is working the fry vat at Burger King—and spew fascism at the start of the Project 2025 Convention.
Oops. J.D. Vance shoulda checked those fluid levels before he set out.
Since the stock market is up, inflation is down, wages are up, unemployment is down, and Project 2025 is horrifying the country, tonight's theme is: The stock market is down, inflation is up, wages are down, unemployment is up, and WE'VE NEVER HEARD OF PROJECT 2025 SO SHUT UP ABOUT PROJECT 2025!!! And a brief programming change: the ghost of Hitler won’t be able to appear as the RNC’s special guest until tomorrow night as he missed his connecting flight from Bottom Circle of Hell International Airport.
P.S. Please remember that guns and ammo are not allowed anywhere near the convention center. Let’s keep them in schools, churches, and casually laying around the house where they belong.
CHEERS to pleasant foreign-relations surprises. 53 years ago today, in 1971, President Nixon caused a stir when he announced he was leavin' on a jet plane to visit China wearing nothing but argyle socks and a cape. His mission: "To find the crystal dragon’s golden bedpan of the Yangtze and use its lasers to smite my enemies." Fortunately Pat was there to postpone the trip until he sobered up.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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JEERS to Vatican vitriol. 819 years ago this week, in 1205, Pope Innocent III stood up and decreed that Jews would be doomed to perpetual servitude and subjugation because they killed Jesus. His pronouncement was immediately followed by: "Ow! Who threw that?!!"
JEERS to un-special deliveries. Apparently the sister of Kim Jong Un says that North Korea might again try to piss off their neighbors down yonder by filling a giant balloon with trash and floating it over to South Korea. "But I'm scared of heights," said her brother.
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15 years ago in C&J: July 15, 2009
CHEERS to today's edition of Politicians Say the Darndest Things. John McCain, gobbledygooking on Meet the Press, puts his brain on autopilot and crashes:
David Gregory: You think [Sarah Palin] is qualified to seek the highest office in the land?
John McCain: I know she's qualified. I know she's qualified.
David Gregory: She is qualified?
John McCain: Sure. Absolutely.
David Gregory: No doubt about it?
John McCain: No doubt about it. She has all the right instincts, all the right principles. She was a...she was a...a mayor, she's a governor. She understands the challenges that families face.
I don’t know what scares me more...that Palin had a credible shot at being vice president, or that McCain had a credible shot at being president. Since both scenarios are unfathomably chilling, I'll just stick with my usual tried-and-true nightmare: playing naked Twister with Mitch McConnell.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to getting mad as hell and not taking it anymore. Sacre Bleu! Yesterday was Bastille Day (with a special appearance by the Olympic torch), commemorating the important lesson the French learned 235 years ago: it is better for the government to fear the people than it is for the people to fear the government.
Revolutionaries tromping through your bastille and setting it on fire? Call Merry Maids for a free estimate today.
Thus the French get a couple months of vacation, shorter work hours, universal health care, paid sick time, and a fresh beret every three months, and we get to work ourselves to the bone for zero vacation days, zero sick time, and the honor of having to defend meager and perpetually "on the table for cuts" social programs that barely keep us out of poverty—please, please try to contain your enthusiasm.
But anyway. Yesterday we woke up at the crack of dawn, propped a ladder up on our neighbor's bedroom window sill, stormed in without a word, grabbed a pair of their underwear and sent it up the flagpole. Because this is America, dammit, and we had no intention of breaking our daily routine just because it was Bastille Day in France.
Have a tolerable Monday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
"You'll commonly find Cheers and Jeers kiddie pool algae used as a topping on salads, oatmeal, baked yams and yogurt; and as an ingredient in dishes and baked goods like muffins, pancakes, scones, bread loaves, cobblers, crisps, sweet potato casserole, French toast, cookies, cakes and pecan pie."
—Daryl Austin
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