This expanded from a comment I wrote yesterday:
“Well Mr. President what the f*** happened?”
“Well George, the thing is I overprepared, tried to say too much with too little time, my thoughts formed faster than my words, I blew my opening statement, and I spent half the night trying to come up and execute a new debate strategy, all the while watching myself in real-time realizing how badly I was shitting the bed. Cold medicine at my age is a bitch, stuttering people trip over their words when under duress and at my age all the mental training I did in my younger days has started to fail. That’s why I need and like to be among close friends, family and colleagues for emotional support to get me through some of the most stressful, high stakes moments of this job now, and I really wish I had and audience of them at that “debate” to smile at me to draw strength from like I did at the SOTU. I recognize that I fucked up royally and want to apologize to all the people who were triggered by my appearance that night. But I would also like to point out that the nature of this job is not the same as a lot of Hollywood movies and episodes of The West Wing and even the most critical of situations are often much less dramatically paced and almost none of them involve talking to thirsty jackals who want my scalp reporters trying to put me on the spot like you guys do because your bosses get off on buffaloing guys who make them pay their taxes ratings and lolz. In the coming days and weeks, I will be making more and more appearances to prove that I can do this job, but I will not be playing a game of musical media goalposts with you. My fellow Americans, currently we’ve got a fascist Supreme Court with six supremely unqualified injustices who perjured themselves before the American people in service of a 50+ yearslong project to install a fascist state, and a fascist king in waiting. Vote for me in November America, give me two houses of congress and we can get to rolling back their reign of madness and chaos and restore our Democracy. We’ve got two choices this November: Run and Hide or Vote and Fight. And I’m gonna fight dammit! So help me, so help you, so help me help you, and so help us God!”
Something in the ballpark of that and we’re back on track, yeah?