Top Comments appears nightly, as a round-up of the best comments on Daily Kos. Surely you come across comments daily that are perceptive, apropos and .. well, perhaps even humorous. But they are more meaningful if they're well-known ... which is where you come in (especially in diaries/stories receiving little attention).
Send your nominations to TopComments at gmail dot com by 9:30 PM Eastern Time nightly, and indicate (a) why you liked the comment, and (b) your Dkos user name (to properly credit you) as well as a link to the comment itself.
If I was the President of the US: this would be my all-time list of who I would want in my Cabinet. OK, some of these individuals are no longer of this earth .... but since this is my "all-time" list ... well, I can dream, can't I? And while I would normally allow these appointees to choose their own staff: in a few cases, I'll also nominate under-secretaries, as well.
First, I would not want a Vice-President. Instead, I'd like a President of Vice .... and there can be no better choice than Louisiana's Edwin Edwards - this man knows vice like few others (and is in jail right now) but there are some other factors at play here. I like my first name, and so having someone named both Edwin and Edwards is appealing.
And finally: this would be a reward for him defeating former KKK chief David Duke as governor of Louisiana years ago. The campaign bumper stickers were fantastic: "Vote for the crook - it's important" and "Vote for the Lizard - not the Wizard" are the most famous, but I have another. Noting that besides (being a financial crook) Edwin Edwards was a noted womanizer: a bumper sticker exhorted voters to "Vote for the guy between the sheets ... not under the sheets". Kinda says it all, huh?
And now for my cabinet members and other key appointments:
Secretary of Education - this would be the legendary comic Professor Irwin Corey - if you can't learn from someone who "tried to join the Communist Party, but they called me an anarchist" ...... well, it's hopeless. As his undersecretary for physical education: the late Professor Toru Tanaka of pro wrestling fame would have gotten all of this country's teenaged pencil-neck geeks into shape, tout de suite.
Director of Homeland Security - after lo these many years with the "emergency" color code set no lower than "dire", we need someone with a sense of what's important or not. And for that: we need to turn to the Odd Couple's reliable Murray the Cop - he wouldn't mess with your junk, nor waste time with unimportant tasks (at least not while there were some good card games going on).
Director of the CIA - this has to be Will Smith - who knows something about undercover work (as well as quite presentable to the American public on television; quite necessary during Senate hearings these days).
Director of the FBI - here, we need the twin efforts of the Thompson Twins from Tintin fame. Despite the fact that they had to remind themselves that, yes, they are the police - their influence is special (which the agency needs, just a few decades removed from J. Edgar). They spawned a Brit-Pop band named after them, and the team of Steven Spielberg/Peter Jackson are to present them in an upcoming Tintin movie next year.
Secretary of Defense - the late Dan Rowan perfectly portrayed General Bull Right on "Laugh-In", who sneered "Poppycock!" to any sign of introspection, and was always hawking his "new book" back in the day. We need that sort of individual overseeing our military.
White House Office on Drugs - Cheech Marin & Tommy Chong come to mind (though I'm unsure why?). Their undersecretary should be the former Boston Red Sox/Montreal Expos pitcher Bill ('The Spaceman') Lee who - at a book signing in Vermont five years ago with Jim Bouton - was asked about baseball's drug testing policy. "Ladies and gentlemen, I have tested just about all of them" - we need that sort of expertise in Washington. Besides, his aunt Annabelle Lee pitched in the "League of Their Own" (who died two years ago at age 86) - and Bill is still pitching in adult leagues as he turns age 64 next week.
Secretary of Commerce - it's been a while since we've seen Ben & Jerry publicly involved in the business world - gotta be more worthwhile than toiling for Unilever these days, right?
Secretary of Housing & Urban Development - this job should be split into two: Bob Vila for Housing Secretary and William Bendix in the role of Chester A Riley from Life of Riley TV show for urban development. If a HUD enterprise went downhill, he is the perfect agency head to say, "What a revoltin' development".
Secretary of Labor - last year, we lost Crystal Lee Sutton - the real life Norma Rae - who would be an actual Secretary of Labor, not a secretary of management.
Secretary of State - having served as our Ambassador to both France and Sweden: Ben Franklin would be the logical choice to run our foreign affairs (and he is believed to have had several, himself).
Secretary of the Treasury - especially at this time of the year, we need a man like George Bailey to keep us from the clutches of the Mr. Potters of the world (who gets meaner with each passing year).
Years ago a Wall Street Journal editorial criticized "It's a Wonderful Life" as maudlin - which earned an on-air rebuke from former CNN business analyst Myron Kandel, who thought it an exemplary film for financiers to view (maybe they were closet Mr. Potter supporters?).
Secretary of Agriculture - at the inaugural Woodstock festival, the late Max Yasgur - who allowed the festival to be held on his land - received a burst of applause for beginning his address to the crowd by saying, "I'm a farmer".
Today, his land hosts the Bethel Woods Center for the Arts which opened in 2006.
Secretary of Energy - an unorthodox choice, I'll agree, but stay with me: Homer Simpson - hey, if he can be entrusted with "the switch" while asleep drunk ... well, better him than some oil man.
Secretary of Veterans Affairs - this is the job Sergeant Ernie Bilko was made for.
For his undersecretary: then Sergeant O'Rourke of F Troop fame can help bring the skills O'Rourke Enterprises made famous towards getting our veterans a better deal (well, in a manner of speaking).
Secretary of the Interior - although in his book Locked in the Cabinet former Labor Secretary Robert Reich described the position as "Secretary of the West" - as there has not been an non-western Interior Secretary since Rogers Morton during the Nixon Administration - I think breaking with tradition is sometimes warranted. Sheriff Andy Taylor and Barney ("I've gotta BADGE!") Fife from Mayberry are the ones I want in charge of overseeing public lands.
Years ago, the late New Hampshire state senator Clesson Blaisdell said that after dreary legislative hearings, "I need to watch a couple of hours of Andy & Barney to get my sanity back".
Secretary of Transportation - this job requires someone who will fight for federal transportation funding - and the late NYC bus driver Ralph Kramden fills that bill quite ably.
And he's never at a loss for words (unless "Homina, homina, homina" counts as a loss).
The US Attorney General - Yes, I know he had some less-than-savory political views: but during the Watergate hearings, North Carolina's Senator Sam Ervin never failed to remind us that he was "just a poor country lawyer from North Carolina".
And when Tennessee Senator Howard Baker reminded him that he - like Baker - was an honors graduate from Harvard Law, Ervin said in a hushed voice, "But Howard ... they don't need to know that!"
And there you have it. Not saying there isn't a better team, but these are the folks I'd take my chances with in Washington.
Now, on to Top Comments:
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From ban nock:
In the diary by Electablog making the case for President Obama's actions this term, TX Unmuzzled felt that the tax bill that was negotiated was a Bitter bitter bitter pill but adds, "I am at least paying attention and will try to let lessons learned inform my future responses. Obama plays a very very very long game indeed".
From sardonyx:
When Bob Johnson gives us his take on the upcoming (eventually) DK6, Laurence Lewis notes how one of the hyper-advanced features failed on Red State 2.0.
After slinkerwink asks everyone How Do YOU Use Dailykos?, NMDad reveals his secrets for success.
From Julie Gulden:
In the front page story about Harry Reid working to curtail the use of the filibuster - Julie felt strongly that Lawdog captured it: "Republicans may use the filibuster ... but by God, they don't come close to us in the use of the sternly worded letter".
And from Ed Tracey, your faithful correspondent this evening .... ....
In the front-page story about Joe Miller whining about Lisa Murkowski's votes in the lame-duck session, Mother Mags joins the chorus: "Yep, darn that Murkowski, voting for bills the majority of Alaskans support. The nerve".
At the very least: the GOP now knows what it felt like with Joe Lieberman.
And lastly ... Top Mojo - (cskendrick/sardonyx-style) excluding search-identifiable tip jars, first diary comments, Cheers and Jeers and (alas) ... da pooties:
1) I Don't Mean to Sound Harsh by JekyllnHyde — 175
2) they tried this at red state 2.0 by Laurence Lewis — 148
3) thanks for posting this. by Deoliver47 — 139
4) Good on you. by KVoimakas — 131
5) I Honest To God Don'r Care If The Man by mattman — 115
6) I am getting out of here soon. by Krush — 103
7) Please stop spreading this by I love OCD — 103
8) Michael Moore Explained by JekyllnHyde — 99
9) Reintroducing politicians to shame by Dallasdoc — 89
10) Great topic and diary. May I suggest by War on Error — 86
11) "I'm not racist, but... by APA Guy — 84
12) Well said by HiddenHistories — 84
13) She put her mom into one of those pods by Bob Johnson — 79
14) Hate Crime Prevention Act, too. Sorry . . . by Twodaiquiris — 74
15) Please do not forget Obama's Executive Order by dotcommodity — 73
16) The media is hurting this country. I'm all in by NedSparks — 71
17) I'm not racist but... by KVoimakas — 69
18) DK6 sux. by amk for obama — 66
19) How confidently the Netroots thinks it represents by Adept2u — 65
20) Indians 101 by Ojibwa — 63
21) Thank you Deoliver! by Krush — 63
22) i also found it disturbing by Laurence Lewis — 62
23) you have it backwards by mollyd — 61
24) "Anything after 'but' is bullshit." by kestrel9000 — 60
25) Mistakes are a consequence of not knowing by hannah — 59
26) And the ever popular by husl piper 11 — 58
27) Terrified? by KingOneEye — 57
28) I had something similar happen yesterday. A by teabaggerssuckbalz — 57
29) Saw this article--Prichard is canary in coal mine by RFK Lives — 56
30) check back in by desmoinesdem — 56
31) Good for you by LeftHandedMan — 56
32) huh? by Lisa — 56
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Top Mojo with No Exclusions, no nothing:
1) Tip Jar by Krush — 597
2) Tip Jar by Michael Moore — 347
3) Tip Jar by Tasini — 342
4) Tip Jar by Bob Johnson — 304
5) Tip Jar by Eclectablog — 275
6) Tip Jar by TomP — 248
7) Tip Jar by jamess — 221
8) I Don't Mean to Sound Harsh by JekyllnHyde — 175
9) Tip Jar by slinkerwink — 170
10) Tip Jar by slinkerwink — 152
11) they tried this at red state 2.0 by Laurence Lewis — 148
12) Tip Jar by Hlinko — 142
13) thanks for posting this. by Deoliver47 — 139
14) Tip Jar by Ojibwa — 131
15) Good on you. by KVoimakas — 131
16) Tip Jar by ThisIsMyTime — 125
17) I Honest To God Don'r Care If The Man by mattman — 115
18) Tip Jar by pfiore8 — 108
19) Please stop spreading this by I love OCD — 103
20) I am getting out of here soon. by Krush — 103
21) Michael Moore Explained by JekyllnHyde — 99
22) Reintroducing politicians to shame by Dallasdoc — 89
23) Scritchie Jar by triciawyse — 88
24) Great topic and diary. May I suggest by War on Error — 86
25) Tip Jar by devtob — 85
26) Well said by HiddenHistories — 84
27) "I'm not racist, but... by APA Guy — 84
28) She put her mom into one of those pods by Bob Johnson — 79
29) Merry Christmas Charlie Brown! by Frankenoid — 79
30) Tip Jar by Clay Claiborne — 75