Last night, Jon Stewart challenged John McCain to a battle of who's been wrong more, after McCain dismissed Stewart on Fox News.
Come on! I'll tell you what. You come on the program loaded down with your "Jon Stewart was absolutely wrong" file, and I'll see if I can perhaps dig up one or two things you've been mistaken about.
(sound of huge truck backing up)
No, no. Don't unload the truck yet, boys! Wait till he gets here!
So how about it, McCain? You and me, wrong to wrong, no holds barred. And the loser has to sit through 24 straight hours watching the person he's best known for unleashing on the world.
(wild audience cheering and applause)
Video and full transcript below the fold.
As you know, this world is a perilous place. Recent events beg real answers from our nation's leaders for a concerned public. Yes, from immigration to rogue nations to conflagrations, this past Sunday our nation's leading journalistic light sought answers to the day's most pressing question.
HOWARD KURTZ (7/20/2014): You've been on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, fair to Republicans?
(audience laughter)
I believe I can field this one. Jon Stewart of the Jon Stewart Times-Picayune. Is Jon Stewart fair to Republicans? Does the Pope shit in the woods? (audience laughter) Because if not, not only am I not fair to Republicans, I think a bear wearing a hat gave me communion.
(audience laughter)
But obviously... wow, that's interesting. I'm not going to make that other joke that I was just about to make. (audience laughter) But it was about one of us not using our teeth. (audience groans)
Obviously, it's a question we're all waiting for, Senator.
SEN. JOHN McCAIN, R-AZ (7/20/2014): No, but he... you know, it doesn't matter, really.
(sad audience reaction)
Son of a bitch! You lied to me, book! You lied to me!!
(audience cheering and applause)
Lied to me! Next thing, McCain will tell me I don't even poop! (audience laughter)
Why, Senator, why? Why don't I matter?
SEN. JOHN McCAIN, R-AZ (7/20/2014): When he says things, which he's entitled to — after all, he's a late-night comic — that are absolutely wrong, he gets away with it.
(audience boos)
No, he's right. Those late-night comics do get away with mistake after mistake.
Some with catastrophic consequence. And yet somehow, the viewers continue to elect... to watch.
Look, I'll give you this, McCain. I've been wrong. I've done some bad things. Pronounced sanguine "sang-gween". Helped Hugh Grant promote Did You Hear About the Morgans? (Jon gags)
But I would be willing to bet, McCain, that if we went wrongo e wrongo, you'd come out on bottom. My 16 years on this show, up against your 132 years of Senate service. (listens to earpiece) What's that? Oh, really, I'm wrong? OK. Point McCain.
So, whaddaya say, Senator? Care to put your money where your forced smile through jaw-clenching anger is? My record of absolute wrongness against your record of absolute wrongness for a good old fashioned Wrong-Off!
(audience cheering and applause)
Come on! I'll tell you what. You come on the program loaded down with your "Jon Stewart was absolutely wrong" file, and I'll see if I can perhaps dig up one or two things you've been mistaken about.
(sound of huge truck backing up)
No, no. Don't unload the truck yet, boys! Wait till he gets here!
So how about it, McCain? You and me, wrong to wrong, no holds barred. And the loser has to sit through 24 straight hours watching the person he's best known for unleashing on the world.
(wild audience cheering and applause)
I'm almost wishing I would lose.
Jon then looked at
Rupert Murdoch's attempt to buy Time Warner (and thus CNN as well).
Jordan Klepper then looked at how Texas cops have been performing civil forfeiture on innocent people.
Meanwhile, Stephen talked about the GOP delegation that went to Honduras for a weekend to declare the children being deported back there were totally safe, even as they almost never left the hotel for their own safety. He then talked about the impeachment push from the right-wing fringe with black conservative P.K. Winsome.
He then noted that a bad breakup can lead to great triumphs.
Jon talked with director Richard Linklater, and Stephen talked with The New Republic's Julia Ioffe about Russia and MH17.