Beloved philosopher-king and benchmark sane person Charlie Sheen has ended...oh, minutes of speculation about his plans for 2016.
Would he offer his services to Hillary Clinton or Bernie Sanders? Or perhaps he's a Jeb! guy? Or maybe (God help us) Sheen favors Two-Gun Ted, The Texas Terror?
Well, I'm happy to say that the endless, feverish media guesswork is over: Charlie Sheen is offering his services as Vice President to Donald 'Read My Hat' Trump, the plucky little cock-eyed optimist from Queens, who started out with little more than $10 billion and a dream, but has already begun to make America grate...a lot.
According to The Daily Beast:
On Thursday, Charlie Sheen tweeted out his supposed support for a Trump-Sheen ticket. (The 49-year-old actor was reacting to a recent Daily Beast interview with Owen Wilson, in which Wilson essentially dubbed Trump the Charlie Sheen of politics.) “If Trump will [have] me I’d be his VP in a heartbeat!” Sheen tweeted, with the hashtag “#TrumpSheen16.”
dear O. Wilson they took ur comment out of context! I'm honored! thank u! If Trump will hv me I'd be his VP in a heartbeat! © #TrumpSheen16
— Charlie Sheen (@charliesheen) August 27, 2015
As Mediaite notes, it wasn’t too long ago that Sheen was calling Trump “a sad & silly homunculus,” whose “words [are] as poignant as a sack of cat farts.”
Dude...can't a guy have an epiphany? This makes
perfect sense. Winning is what Trump is about. Ditto Charlie Sheen:
According to The Daily Beast:
The Trump campaign did not immediately respond to a request for comment on Sheen’s generous offer. (Sheen’s rep hasn’t gotten back to us, either, regarding his seriousness.) At the very least, Trump used to speak highly of Sheen, telling David Letterman in 2011 that the actor was “a wonderful guy, I really like him a lot.”
“I’m a little bit impressed with him,” Trump continued. “We’ve seen worse.”
Donny, Donny, Donny...
that's no way for a yooge winner to talk. Try harder. Because we, the people,
insist on this happening.
Trump/Sheen in 2016...see? It even rhymes!
Panem et circenses...because it's all we've got left.