I wouldn’t normally think of my parents in any liberal/progressive way. I will never change their viewpoint on Roe, but one thing I do know as someone born in September of 1974 is that my mother had a choice. Even if she would never consider it; even if she was committed to the pregnancy; at every step, she had a choice. She chose to have me. I’m grateful for that, of course.
More than thirty three thousand families are connected to a Facebook group, noting that they regret having children. That doesn’t mean that they don’t love their children; but it does mean that many think about how different their life would be if things were different. This happens in an era where choice is an option. Now, imagine what the world looks like when there is no choice. Children never know for sure if their parent or parents wanted them or not; they just know that they were born. That is all.
We know that the Supreme Court could overturn Roe, for all or the most part, and according to some that’s perfect. They know they were wanted, for sure, without any question. They don’t know anyone who had an unwanted pregnancy, though that seems unlikely, since around 14% of all pregnancies are unwanted. We know it works out well for those children who are born to pregnant people who don’t want a child. Studies show they are more likely to be subject to neglect and abuse than a child who was wanted.
Adoption is there and more accepted now, and a single person can integrate into the workplace and make it, so no need for abortion, right? I mean, that is the only thing that matters, right?
Children can fall into the foster system, where up to 100,000 children can be in the system and only 4,000 are adopted. If you are anything but white, a child can find themselves falling through the cracks and lowers their chance every month of adoption, thanks to systemic racism. If you are born with a severe disability to a family who did not want to have you, prepare for the most miserable life ahead.
That’s OK. Forcing the parent to have the child worked out well. It isn’t as though the child might have regrets or want to find their biological parent later. It isn’t as though a pregnant person might find it difficult to turn to adoption, and even if they can, the risks and time off of work still set them back.
In the midwest, I drive by anti-choice billboards that read “choose life!” I think to myself how grateful I am that I know for a fact there was a choice. If you were born after 1974, your parent had a choice. Then came the. fight to limit that choice. And more fights. The nibble and erosion, the time and effort in opposition.
Still, born after 1974? You knew that on some level, choice was maybe a possibility to be considered.
Should the Supreme Court change that, the question will be for families: was a choice for my parent, or was I forced on them, like it or not? I prefer knowing that I was wanted from the beginning. I know that’s true of others.