Trying to put this in sequence here, because we all learned early in Trump's p for pfft pfftresidency that he was so gifted and careful with national security that we could trust him to bring the Russian Foreign Minister and Ambassador/Chief Russian Spymaster straight into the Oval Office and not even give away any national secrets ... just Israel's.
So regarding the documents, I think I have these arguments more or less in sequence, up to maybe 2 a.m. yesterday morning. They are sorta whackamole, fo sho.
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There are no more documents. That's all there is. We swear on a stack of fake Time covers. www.google.com/… NYT, 8-13-22, Trump lawyers’ affidavit of June, 2022
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The FBI planted them. They knew I knew stuff about their lover traitors and are out to get me for retiring that disloyal gigilo Strzok. Larsen, CNN, 8-11-22, “Trump’s Planted Evidence Claim Unlikely to Stand Up in Court.
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NARA gave Obama 33 million, why can't I have 2 or 3 to remember Macron and his elderly but “in very good shape” wife by. Shapiro, Axios, 9-12-22, “National Archives Rejects Trump’s Claim That Obama Took Classified Documents”
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Whatabout Hillary's emails? I should be able to keep a few of my favorite fried well done ketchup steak recipes since she got to steal all those cookie recipes. Cookies are actually tech secrets, you know that don't you? She was gonna give 'em to China and Iran, probably ISIS, we knew that and maybe I needed our intel on that to do research to lock her up like she oughtta be. www.google.com/… Sullum, Reason, “Trump’s Handling of Classified Documents Looks Worse than Hillary’s, 8-14-22. Also, just ask wikileaks and RT. They know.
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They're mine. You can't have them. Give them back. And my passports too, one of them has my most perfect hair picture ever. Chamlee, People, 8-17-22, “Trump Claims the FBI Stole his Passports”. (hint, they gave them back and putting your identity docs in with the Top Secret docs in your drawer tends to draw an inference you kinda knew what and where they were) ..
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They're not secrets. I declassified them. I was the President and I had and have the right to know everything. I made up a standing order afterwards and retrospectively declassified everything because otherwise I would have been in violation of the Espionage Acts for showing some of that shit to my golfing buddies with big tits and fake diamonds. What was that gal's name again? Honey ..... Pot? yah, that's it ... man, she said I was the best, biggest, shiniest, handsomest, quickest "pop" ever. She called me a “really great mark”. What's that mean, anyway? You say she's back in Beijing now? wth? I'm gonna call Xi and turn him onto this chick. (right, as if Xi doesn't already know about Honey Pott aka Agent M-Hari). www.google.com/… NYT, ”Trump claims he declassified all documents”, 8-13-22; Helmore, 8-27-22 The Guardian “U.S. Investigates Fake Heiress”.
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Every President does it. You have to stuff secret documents in the toilet and shred them sometimes because otherwise you'd have to eat them. If you think those Big Macs I love taste like cardboard, you should try a Top Secret SCI folder. But it's cool, you know, like Max Smart or Mission: Impossible. After you read it, you have to destroy the evidence. Or take it somewhere. Or put frames on it next to fake Time covers so people can see how important you used to be because you could read all of the nation's deepest secrets, like who our spies are in Tehran and Moscow, and how our Jewish Space Lasers can actually read Putin's mind. It's just normal. A little light reading while you're watching the Patriots take back our country on OAN and Faux. That investigation of colleges teaching lesbian erotic dance was GREAT -- I LOVED the secret videos that exposed the total left wing crazy woke agenda ... watched it for ... a while. you know. Pop!. Naughtie, Independent, 8-8-22, “Trump Tried to Flush Documents Down the Toilet”.
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Those weren't mine. I am not a slob. I signed an executive order increasing the cleansing water flow rates of our shower heads and toilets, because I hate germs and of all the people in the world who need a really powerful flush toilet, that would be me. I do not lay papers around like that on the floor like some schmuck who doesn't have other people to clean up after them. The FBI put them there to make me look like a slob. I had them nicely put away in a pile on my desk, in a drawer, and in my office safe. Which was mine. And they cracked it. Pissed me off, I paid nearly $10,000.00 (well, actually I never paid them but still) for that safe with it's gold-looking twirly-bob and they just opened it right up like the safecracking MAGA hating left wing woke liberal communist corrupt criminals that they are. Yah, the FBI, DOJ, CIA, NARA, they all hate me. They're all out to get me. Well, boys, back atcha. Everybody knows how perfectly neat I am and that disproves this whole thing comletely. Schwab, Daily Mail, 9-2-22, “Trump Says DOJ Made Him Look Like a Slob”.
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It's normal for ex-Presidents without security clearances to have top secrets laying around. Myre and Davis, NPR, 8-13-22, “The Reason Why Trump Can’t Keep his White House Papers Goes Back to Nixon” …
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Which was Wednesday night's claim ... and which is also an admission that Trump has secret documents which have not been declassified.
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And then came: Top Secret Documents are like an overdue library book. Naughtie, Independent, 9-1-22, “Trump lawyer compares DoJ’s Mar a Lago Documents to Overdue Library Books.” I’m just gonna say my mom was a librarian and I think she would have been rather concerned if she realized she had SCI docs on the shelves of the Hallock Public Library for we locals to peruse before we went through the border crossing at Pembina to go give them to Trudeau. As a lawyer, I’d also advise that probably they should have saved that for some focus group testing before springing it on the public. It just seems like there’s some missing logic steps between “Stolen Top Secret” and “overdue library book”. Somewhere there the former Florida Solicitor General may have to fill in some blanks before trying that out on a jury.