The guys at the GOPin Hood Used Car lot called. The Elephant-in-the-mask wants us to come down and look at what they have.
The Romneymobile Town Car is front and center, all polished up and prominent. Looks real impressive, but really big, I think it will cost lot to maintain. Also I think it is designed to need a chauffeur, not the sort of thing you can drive yourself. Maybe too big for anything but the main freeway, I don’t see it going on any secondary roads. They won’t let you look in the trunk ? I also heard a rumor that the wheels are coming off....
The Newtmobile looks like a comfortable sedan, but when you check it out, it has no brakes, that’s why it blows the horn so much. And I don’t think you’ll ever get the stains out of the back seat .
I remember those old Santorummobile station wagons, with the big tail-fins. Slow to get up to speed, and a mushy ride, without a really good grip on the road. Tend to make you fall asleep. Lots of empty space for baggage.
The Paulie Sports Car looks like fun, fast, agile, goes everywhere, but the steering is unpredictable, it goes wherever it wants to, and you have no control.
The Perry Pickup would be handy for hauling hayseed, but that truck is a lot older than it looks, maybe pre-1865, and there’s a lot of bondo under that shiny paint job. Also, it has no headlights, and there are serious problems with the wiring.
The Huntsmanmobile is a really well designed and well-built vehicle, in an old conservative style you seldom see these days, but it seems to have been built in China, and there will probably be a problem with parts.
Finally, in the back of the lot, that old Cain Pizza Delivery Wagon has a lot of miles on it, cannot make left turns, and I don’t think you will ever be able to get the pizza-smell out.
Maybe we ought to just keep the Obamamobile. I know we don’t really know what’s under the hood, and it doesn’t go as fast as we would like, but it seems to be running well, and getting us where we need to go. It carries a remarkable amount of legislation, with room for more, and despite all the brickbats thrown at it, shows nary a dent. I think we may get to love it as much as grandpa loved his old Franklin.
