Forgive the deep cynicism of this post, but a couple of things have been causing me to think about the upcoming Clinton / Trump debates.
As I wrote in an earlier diary, I’m becoming deeply afraid as the campaign unfolds. I’m afraid for my brown children, and my many brown and black and gay and Muslim friends and professional acquaintances. Last week’s full-bore immigrant slander-fest from Trump did not help allay my fears.
I’m also finding that I’m afraid because Trump reminds me of those who have bullied and mistreated me in my life. I’ve only experienced a small amount of it, probably about the same as many middle and high schoolers get, but I’ve also witnessed and been on the receiving end of some bullying throughout my professional career. And it also reminds me of the stories, shared in confidence over the years, from my friends (almost all women friends), who have — unlike me — seen and felt the full horror of abuse.
This has caused me to read up on the subject, and it’s extremely depressing, especially the techniques people use to silence the victims of their abuse. An obvious one is name calling, though this differs in significant ways from bullying.
With reference to the campaign, there’s a lot of second-order name-calling, often from Trump supporters deflecting criticism of their man by the what-about-her “argument”. This boils down to “I don’t have to address your criticisms because HRC is “corrupt” or “a liar” or “crooked.” Here the silencing by name-calling is directed at others in on-line discussions.
So I’m wondering whether the debates will feature name-calling and bullying and other forms of domination from the candidate who is clearly practicing dominance politics. Here are three things I’ve had to experience, and I’ll be looking for these during the debates.
Gaslighting: a form of psychological abuse in which a victim is manipulated into doubting their own memory, perception and sanity. (definition from Wikipedia)
Name-calling: the use of abusive names to belittle or humiliate another person in a political campaign, an argument, etc. (definition from dictionary.com)
Attacks followed by “just kidding”: (There’s probably a real name for this.) There seems to be a lot of precedence for this in the campaign.
For a long list of techniques that manipulative people use, see the excellent article 20 Diversion Tactics Highly Manipulative Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths Use To Silence You. (The article, from thoughtcatalog.com does require a lot of clicking, but isn’t clickbait.)
[Just to be clear, I’m not calling Trump any names — but his words do remind me strongly of many unpleasant experiences.]
If I were a drinking man, I’d throw a party where we downed a shot of fine whiskey every time one of these comes up. I must say, however, that I would be glad to find out that my worries are baseless, that that the debates will be conducted in a professional and civil manner, and that the whiskey remains in the bottle for proper enjoyment among friends after the debates are over.
