RIP Science: 300 B.C. -June 30, 2014

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Monday June 30, 2014 · 9:48 AM PDT

2014/06/30 · 09:48

Washington, DC... Science passed away today after a ruling by the Supreme Court stating birth control equals abortion. The death follows a major illness.

Justice Alito hastened Science's demise. "The owners of businesses have religious objections to abortion, and according to their religions beliefs the four contraceptive methods at issue are abortifacients."

Upon hearing this news, Science went into cardiac arrest at approximately 10 a.m. Eastern Standard time. Despite the best efforts of progressives and liberals at resuscitation, Science flatlined on the table.

JAM11

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Thursday September 13, 2012 · 10:54 AM PDT

2012/09/13 · 10:54

In a ruling cheered by pedophiles every where, the Vatican today offered its approval of adult-child sex as long as it's not against civil laws.

Snark or not? You be the judge. The Chicago Tribune published an article this morning that near as I can understand, says pretty much this same thing.

To summarize: a priest in the Joliet Diocese was accused of um...er...'dating' a 14 year old in the swinging 70s. Note to self: this seems to be euphemism for S-E-X. A local review board found it credible enough to forward to the Vatican. So to recap, an adult male was having sex with a 14 year old boy. Years go by and said 14 year old grows up, lodges a complaint with the Diocese and whoa...the Vatican steps in and says this isn't technically a crime.

This is about as far from "Mea Culpa" as the Vatican can go, said Church observers, characterizing it as a "Mea F*cka You." (OK, this part is snark.)

Follow me below the orange squiggly of unbridled lust for more.

JAM11

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Wednesday August 22, 2012 · 10:45 AM PDT

2012/08/22 · 10:45

Well duh, most people know our president is African American. But to some, it matters a great deal.

I live in Chicago so I’m somewhat insulated from anti-Obama sentiments. This is true blue country and Obama’s hometown so for the most part, folks here are pro-Obama.

Now, I’ve long suspected that some don’t like the president because he’s a black guy. But it seems so simplistic to pin the hatred of Obama on racism. Well, it DID seem simplistic until recently.

Follow me below the orange dippity-do-dad for more.

JAM11

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Wednesday March 14, 2012 · 12:48 PM PDT

2012/03/14 · 12:48

My 17 year old son came home from school yesterday with his hair on fire. His Catholic high school hired a chastity expert (who knew they even existed??) to give a presentation to the entire school—all 1500 kids. Turns out it was mostly an anti-birth control screed.

The resulting discussion we had was enlightening and ultimately allowed me to reinforce our family values as opposed to the Church’s. The presentation was an epic fail, at least for my kid.

Jump below the orange flourish for the deets.

JAM11

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Wednesday March 07, 2012 · 9:47 AM PST

2012/03/07 · 09:47

Sam and Daniel were homeless. I interviewed them today for a report I’m writing for my day job.

They are now in a program that provides temporary housing along with supportive services to help them get back on their feet.

What follows below the orange flourish are my thoughts on their situation.

JAM11

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Thursday February 23, 2012 · 9:51 AM PST

2012/02/23 · 09:51

As a woman, I've had the sneaking suspicion lately that some segment of the population views me as less than human. Yesterday, the cat jumped out of that bag when the Illinois House Agricultural Committee passed a bill that would require women to get an ultrasound before having an abortion.

Yes, you read that right. The Agricultural Committee passed a bill that would mandate ultrasounds for women. So now, my lady parts are being regulated with the same care and concern that farm animals receive.

More below the orange squiggle.

JAM11

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Sunday February 12, 2012 · 12:22 PM PST

2012/02/12 · 12:22

I’ve tried to ignore it. Who wants to think their Church has a one-track mind?

But here’s the uncomfortable truth. From gay marriage to birth control, the morning after pill and abortion, the Catholic Church has an unhealthy obsession with sex, sex, sex.

Follow along below the squished orange blip.

JAM11

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Friday February 10, 2012 · 9:27 AM PST

2012/02/10 · 09:27

In 2008, my son was being confirmed in the Catholic Church. As a consequence, we clocked a lot of pew time for various reasons—special services, required Mass attendance—you name it and we were there.

We asked if he wanted to opt out of confirmation but he didn’t want to be ‘different’ from his friends, all of whom including him attend Catholic schools. Being different is the social kiss of death for a 13 year old. So I thought, ‘Okey, dokey.’ I will stand by my boy. See below the orange Rorschach blot for more.

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RIP Science: 300 B.C. -June 30, 2014

Vatican Says Okey Dokey to Pedophilia

He's Black

UPDATED--Church Chastity Presentation Fails to Excite

How Can We Allow This?

Now I’m a Farm Animal??

Sex: The Catholic Church’s Forbidden Fruit

D*mnit, the Church is Making Me Donate to Obama Again