Need advice from an MD / Gyn.
Apparently I'm in need of a hysterectomy. It seems I've got a wandering womb, apparently caused by lack of certain bodily fluids.
This has manifested in my inability to see 99.998476 % of the good things in the world, and it's caused me to 'panic' about the remaining things that remain which little people should not worry their heads about, as those Grand Things go above our station in life.
I do know my prognosis, though, and it's not good.
Here's the definition of my condition:
For at least two thousand years of European history until the late nineteenth century hysteria referred to a medical condition thought to be particular to women and caused by disturbances of the uterus (from the Greek ὑστέρα "hystera" = uterus), such as when a neonate emerges from the female birth canal. The origin of the term hysteria is commonly attributed to Hippocrates, even though the term isn't used in the writings that are collectively known as the Hippocratic corpus.[1] The Hippocratic corpus refers to a variety of illness symptoms, such as suffocation and Heracles' disease, that were supposedly caused by the movement of a woman's uterus to various locations within her body as it became light and dry due to a lack of bodily fluids.[1] One passage recommends pregnancy to cure such symptoms, ostensibly because intercourse will "moisten" the womb and facilitate blood circulation within the body.[1] The "wandering womb" theory persisted in European medicine for centuries...
from wikipedia
Clearly, I'm hysterical. Along with perhaps many others.
So, thanks to some experts in the field here at DK, I now know what I've got...but the problem remains, how do those of us who are male get a hysterectomy?