...but is it still okay for them to hate US?

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Saturday April 28, 2012 · 12:11 AM PDT

2012/04/28 · 00:11

Several years ago, my son was invited to become a member of a local Boy Scout troop that was led by a friend of mine. Her son and mine were close in age and temperament, and she and I wanted more opportunities for them to spend time together. We both homeschooled, we lived a half-hour's drive apart, and we had packed schedules; so it wasn't as if the kids could play together at recess or get together for frequent play dates. Joining this group would have been ideal. Except for one little problem.

"Don't worry," my friend said when I voiced my concerns. "I'm the den leader. I'm not going to tell anyone."

I just couldn't do it. Signing my son up for Boy Scouts would have felt like a lie, because for us, it would be a lie. The Boy Scouts don't care which religion you espouse, but they do insist that you have one. The word "God" is in their oath, the word "reverent" in their law.

bittermama

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Saturday April 14, 2012 · 3:18 PM PDT

2012/04/14 · 15:18

I have a T-shirt I designed but don't wear much any more. It says, "Yes I Homeschool And No I'm Not A Right-Wing Religious Nut."

I don't wear it much any more partly because I'm 44 and just don't plaster words across my chest as often as I used to. Partly it's because even I know that them's fightin' words, and I don't always feel like having that kind of argument when I only ran out to buy some bananas. (It's especially unnerving when I forget what shirt I put on this morning and have no idea why someone's snapping at me until they point accusingly at my bosom.)

But mostly it's because I don't like the message as much as I used to. Yes, I'm still a secular homeschooler; and yes, I'm aware that this is a minority position. But there's something degrading about the idea of begging the mainstream population for forgiveness: "It's okay! I'm not like those homeschoolers!" And there's something misleading about saying that it's unusual to be a secular American homeschooling parent, when the larger truth is, it's unusual to be a secular American parent, period.

bittermama

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Friday April 13, 2012 · 4:13 PM PDT

2012/04/13 · 16:13

There are times when it sucks to be right.

Back in 2010, I was editor of Secular Homeschooling Magazine. An AP article had just come out, explaining that homeschooling "science" textbooks are often anti-evolution because most homeschoolers have a religious worldview that makes them eager consumers of such works. I wrote an article in reply suggesting that they take a better look at the bigger picture. When it comes to flawed science education in America, homeschoolers are not the problem. A specific anti-science mindset is the problem, and that mindset shows up all over the place. I cited a report by the National Center for Science Education that deplored the current state of American schools when it comes to teaching science in general and evolution in particular. I pointed out that the homeschooling mom profiled in the AP article lived in the home state of the Answers in Genesis Creation Museum. If her daughter had gone to public school instead, she'd be in a system that the NCSE graded with a D when it came to science education.

"Yes, it's a shame that there are children who aren't getting critical thinking skills or a fact-based, evidence-based science education," I added. "It's also a shame that the Associated Press didn't point out that most of those children attend public school."

bittermama

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Saturday April 07, 2012 · 6:45 PM PDT

2012/04/07 · 18:45

It's okay -- I'm not one of those women who looked at your photos and said, "Oh, get over yourself!" The pictures are fine, but I'm willing to assume from experience that they're not doing your looks full justice. I know a lot of models, and I know a lot of beautiful women. They're usually not the same people. Because plenty of models aren't that pretty in real life -- they're just very tall women with a bone structure the camera adores. And beautiful people often don't photograph well. I know exactly one woman who's gorgeous and photographs like a dream. She's a supermodel. There's a reason they're called that.

So, no, I'm not going to say you're conceited or delusional when you talk about the unexpected difficulties being too pretty can bring with it. I'm not going to argue that your problems aren't real, either. I'm in no position to judge.

Instead, I'm going to give you a workable, non-snarky piece of advice that will solve your dilemma. You'll stop losing friends -- in fact, you'll make new ones. You won't be sneered at or resented by bosses or acquaintances because you're too pretty. Best of all, you won't have to wait for old age to attack in order to fade into the background.

bittermama

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Friday April 06, 2012 · 2:31 PM PDT

2012/04/06 · 14:31

"This legislation is an important step in strengthening abortion regulations and protecting the health and safety of women," Mississippi Governor Phil Bryant announced recently.

Women's health and safety are important, we can all agree. So how is Governor Bryant attempting to strengthen them? By promising to sign into law a bill requiring doctors who perform abortions to be board certified and have hospital admitting privileges.

Which sounds fine. Laudable, even. Until you learn that the state of Mississippi has one abortion clinic. The sort-of good news is that all of the doctors working there are board certified. But only one of them has admitting privileges, because plenty of hospitals in Mississippi routinely refuse to grant them to doctors who perform abortions. I guess maybe we don't all agree about women's health and safety.

bittermama

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Thursday March 08, 2012 · 9:06 PM PST

2012/03/08 · 21:06

My son hates it when I tell people I recently posted nude pictures of myself on the Internet. He doesn't hate it because he's 14 and immediately starts bleeding from both eyeballs at the thought of my being unclothed. Well, he doesn't hate it just because of that. Mostly, it's his sense of scientific accuracy that's offended.

"These are pictures of internal organs!" he says. "There's no way to put clothes on them. It's just the way they are! Stop saying they're nude!"

I could point out that it's entirely possible for one of those organs -- my cervix, to be specific -- to wear a cute little cap. But I don't want him to start bleeding from the ears as well.

bittermama

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Wednesday March 07, 2012 · 4:40 PM PST

2012/03/07 · 16:40

"She's having so much sex she can't afford the contraception. She wants you and me and the taxpayers to pay her to have sex....A Georgetown coed told Nancy Pelosi's hearing that the women in her law school program are having so much sex they're going broke, so you and I should have to pay for their birth control....So Miss Fluke and the rest of you feminazis, here's the deal. If we are going to pay for your contraceptives and thus pay for you to have sex, we want something. We want you to post the videos online so we can all watch." -- Rush Limbaugh, referring to his notion that a woman's insurance policy covering birth control pills somehow means money coming out of his, your, and/or my pocket.

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." -- Inigo Montoya

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