My Pick For Homeland Security

demdragon

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Tuesday November 16, 2004 · 8:38 AM PST

2004/11/16 · 08:38

I know Tom Ridge has not left, but if he does....

[shimmering screen-> begin dream sequence]

Diamond Dave is my inspiration. Runnin' with the Devil, Hot for Teacher, and now this:

Roth, 50, has been riding for several weeks with a New York ambulance crew in training to become a paramedic, The New York Post reported Tuesday.
Several weeks ago, Roth saved the life of a heart attack victim in the Bronx by using a defibrillator.

Because other Bush talking heads are running for the hills (except Condi, who gets promoted for incompetence), I therefore nominate David Lee Roth to replace Tom Ridge as Homeland Security Director. He's got a kick-ass voice, is very "diplomatic" with the ladies, and now he knows CPR. Perfect choice.

Instead of color-coded terror alerts, we could have different Van Halen songs represent the alert levels. "Light up the sky" could be red, "Somebody Get Me a Doctor" could be orange.............

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