Clintonistas, wash your white sheets. Hillary's a racist.

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Sunday December 23, 2007 · 4:17 PM PST

2007/12/23 · 16:17

I was hoping it wouldn't come to this. My sheets always look dingy. I just can't get them brilliantly white so they look crisp and fresh in the light of the burning Obama effigy.

I've tried bleach. I've tried sun. But it's never enough.

Sigh

You know, I was hoping that Hillary's "Southern Strategy" would just stay under the radar and we wouldn't have to pray for an end of the year white sale.

But those Obama campaign people were right on it. They spotted a pattern that was soooo subtle, even I missed it. Chris Cilizza got the skinny from Obama's camp himself:

goldberry

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Saturday December 22, 2007 · 1:54 PM PST

2007/12/22 · 13:54

Hey, Hillary fans, we got royally dissed by our fearless leader this afternoon. He implied that we are lame because we don't make the rec list very often.

Well, we might not be trendy but we are smart, witty, funny and friendly. So, I've reserved this diary for our cocktail hour. We can get together and mingle, swap stories, discuss the topic of the day and have a cocktail.

Over there to the right of the door is the open bar with our bartender with flair, Rico. Tonight's music is by Vince Guraldi and is played by Wynton Marsalis and his band. You can pick up their CD, Joe Cool's Blues on iTunes or Amazon.

Tonight's topic over the fold:

goldberry

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Friday December 21, 2007 · 2:49 PM PST

2007/12/21 · 14:49

I am really sick and tired of people having to go out of their way to defend Obama. It is absolutely not true that he is a Whiny Ass Titty Baby (WATB). Yet day after day, it has become necessary for his supporters, those dedicated zealots for Change! (trademarked and patent pending, Obama campaign) to hunt down and destroy any diary or comment that dares to criticize him.

These poor people must be exhausted. Little did they know that their incomparable, peerless candidate would be the subject of so much comparison or be subjected to the meritless bragging of other candidates. No one could have predicted it during a primary election season.

Why did Obama even trust his opponents to play fairly? He has too much faith in his fellow human beings. Surely his goodness and mercy will follow them all the days of their lives. So, why are they mercilessly attacking him?!

goldberry

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Sunday December 16, 2007 · 4:25 PM PST

2007/12/16 · 16:25

It's just unconscionable. It's almost like they've been working for this moment for all of their lives- to bring down Barack Obama.

They both saw it 45 years ago during their separate "First Blood" ceremony when they were looking at the goat entrails. Nevermind that Bill and Hill didn't even know each other back then. They shared a psychic bond.

The guts said that a child would be born in the Land of the Flyover who would be black as night and light as day who would bring a woman to her knees. (Bill misunderstood the small intestine. There is a certain art to this that he hadn't quite mastered).

goldberry

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Saturday December 15, 2007 · 8:28 AM PST

2007/12/15 · 08:28

Barack Obama is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful candidate I have ever known in my life.

In the world of politics, he stands alone. No one can compare themselves to him.

Literally.

Any such comparisons are obvious attacks on his peerless character.

I know, I know. To some of you, it looks like Mr. Obama is justifiably proud that he overcame drug abuse and sets an example for poor and disenfranchised youth while simultaneously having a fit that anyone would accuse him of drug abuse and this looks like emotional instability.

But you must not believe it because you would have to contrast that to the levelheadedness of other candidates and this is not allowed.

goldberry

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Friday December 14, 2007 · 2:46 PM PST

2007/12/14 · 14:46

Oh my God! Hillary contrasted herself with Barack Obama!

Does it get any more negative than that? What will that villainess think of next? Dragging out their SAT scores? Perish the thought!

Watch out, watch out! I think Obama is going to swoon dead away! Oh, this is serious. i have never seen anything so vicious in my entire life as Hillary Clinton merely suggesting that she is a candidate that has no hidden skeletons. Some of us untutored may see that as a positive affirmation that she has survived the relentless Republican attacks on her character including a $70 million crotch shot of her entire life that turned up very, very little to nail her on. How naive we all were. She was really just gearing up to take him down.

Oh, it may sound innocuous, but look at him freaking out. He is apoplectic!

goldberry

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Tuesday December 11, 2007 · 3:45 PM PST

2007/12/11 · 15:45

It started with the "inevitability" meme. That was deadly for Clinton because no one likes to be told they have no choice. People will go out of their way to guarantee they have a choice. They will reject the new car and $250,000 dollars in their hands for what is behind door number one because they want to have options. Being optionless makes the committed people feel powerless against a sea of the entrenched DC establishment that they have been fighting so hard against for the past four years.

It. Will. Not. Stand.

goldberry

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Monday December 10, 2007 · 8:04 AM PST

2007/12/10 · 08:04

What the heck, this diary wasn't going to write itself.

In vain I have struggled to find a smooth segueway to connect the machinations of Maureen Dowd to Morgan Le Fey. Oh, the connection is there alright, no mistake about it.

But I just can't find the silvery prose that will slide the two together fluidly. How does one approach the concept of the shapeshifter in a culture that eschews Jungian archetypes for Harry Potter?

goldberry

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Wednesday December 05, 2007 · 8:01 AM PST

2007/12/05 · 08:01

I was just thinking about all that warm water running over his naked, um, shoulders. I would use my loofah to give him a nice massage with some Zum's sandalwood and goat's milk soap, gently scrubbing all of his nooks and crannies...

Ahem, actually, I bought the showerhead for this cool project he's working on in New Orleans. It's called Make It Right. The goal is to build 150 houses in the lower 9th ward of New Orleans. You can see the model house that has been designed for this project here.
The 1,000 sq ft houses are built off the ground and include such energy efficient features as tankless water heaters and solar panels.

Brad Pitt is donating $5 million smackeroos to this project and you, too, can buy a showerhead....

goldberry

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Wednesday November 28, 2007 · 10:18 AM PST

2007/11/28 · 10:18

Oh, Jeez, for the past 6 or 7 years, I've seen a gradual decline in the quality of journalism coming out of Morning Edition. Juan Williams fellates his Bush administration interviews while Steve Inskeep bashes Rahm Emannuel over his sleepy head with pointedly aggressive questioning. Then there is the always reliable Cokyo Rose Roberts who can never criticize a Republican without also thanking God that Democrats are not in charge.

But today, Mara Liasson rolled out the Clinton narrative that we can expect to be smuggled into our collective subconscious for the next 12 months: Bill Clinton is a drag on his wife or "who are you gonna believe, me or your lying memory"?

My RealPlayer link isn't cooperating this am, so I will try to summarize. Listening to the piece is left as an exercise for the reader...

goldberry

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Tuesday November 27, 2007 · 4:36 AM PST

2007/11/27 · 04:36

This is a response to NightProwlKitty's excellent diary. It's how I see it. Some may see it as pragmatic. I see it as applying triage in the field:

On the night of the 2004 election, did you have the feeling that everything was on the line? That if we didn't win, the evil fucks would have time to set things up for a major change in our country?

I texted my BFF as I watched the results come in, when Kerry had a slight lead and said I was afraid I wouldn't have the courage to deal with what came after if we didn't win. Then I fell asleep during The Daily Show's election night coverage only to wake up as Jon Stewart was signing off. The look on his face confirmed my worst fears.

goldberry

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Sunday November 18, 2007 · 6:58 AM PST

2007/11/18 · 06:58

There I was on Thursday night, letting my Sandstone Pearl toenails dry while I reread one of Rebecca Wells Ya-ya books and trying to decide whether to watch Steel Magnolias or Terms of Endearment on the DVD, when I heard a familiar word coming from the background noise of the Democratic Presidential Debate that I use to relax.

"Campbell", it said.

Hmmm, there was something very knowing and mysterious about that voice. So, I backed up the DVR and replayed it.

There was Hillary Clinton in her light gray tweedy jacket and asbestos pants (and great makeup, by the way) gently chiding the gravid Campbell Brown.

And it suddenly occurred to me: Karl Rove must be sweating big time. It will be so much harder to suppress the female voters than the African-American voters. Someone might notice.

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Clintonistas, wash your white sheets. Hillary's a racist.

The Clinton Cocktail Hour

Obama is not a WATB. Take it back!

The Occult of the Clinton (updated)

The Incomparable Mr. Obama

Quick! Get the smelling salts for Barack!

Make me an offer I can't refuse

Maureen Le Fey

I just bought a showerhead for Brad Pitt (update)

NPR's Mara Liasson gets "cutesy" (Added On)

Some Perspective

The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pantsuit