Worst March, ever.

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Saturday March 30, 2013 · 4:05 PM PDT

2013/03/30 · 16:05

Well, not really, but yes, really. I've sort of developed a theme with these diaries. But I've found this to be a way to get stuff out, without paying for a therapist's new stable of polo ponies.

Currently, I'm sitting in the Emergency room at the hospital waiting while my father is being checked out. He's having blood in his urine and abdominal pain. For those again just tuning in, my mother passed away (his wife of 55 years) back on February 24, followed by the worst funeral, ever.

It seems like it's a urinary tract infection, but it's a waiting game at the moment. It's been a bit of a roller coaster this month. That's partially why it's been almost a month since I've written anything.

My fear is right now, if something happens, that's it...I am alone, with little to no support, no income, and no idea what to do. I dropped off the grid, a while back after I lost my job, moved back to Texas (yuk), and couldn't find any work other than very occasional house/pet sitting for a friend in Central Texas. I have decided that, if the worst happens, which isn't unexpected, as my father's 83, I will NOT stay in Texas. It was barely tolerable when I left, but it's unbelievably bad now, even though I live in Houston. I think living in San Francisco from 2001-2007 decreased my tolerance for red states.

So, as I sit, I here waiting I decided to try a plea for some kind of help here at KOS. I got a lot of nice support with the last diary (save one jackass comment), so I thought I'd throw this out there with the hope of getting some kind of lifeline.

FYI, I was chyron graphics person at several major stations. That's been most of my work life. Then is got automated, and I got squeezed out, and any openings were few and far between, not to mention the sharp right turn the media has taken over the last 20+ years, even in SF.

For the moment, that's it.....it looks like I might just be able to take my father home in a few hours, but time will tell. But I need to be proactive here, and look at my soon-to-come future. I'm hoping fellow KOSsacks might be able to help or at least throw some positive vibes my way.

Will update with new info as the situation warrants.

liberalagogo

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Friday March 01, 2013 · 4:22 PM PST

2013/03/01 · 16:22

No, not really........but it still sucked. For those just tuning in, as per my earlier diary, my mother died Sunday 2/24/13 of congestive heart failure. I got back from the service in the afternoon, partially to take care of the dog, left alone all day, and in large part to avoid the memorial afterwards at my parent's pastor's home with ALL the church people.
After the graveside service, I know I couldn't have dealt with it.

As I told an old friend of mine, who surprised me, by showing up at the event, "Now you know why I am so fucked up."

More after the orange cloud thing.

liberalagogo

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Sunday February 24, 2013 · 3:05 PM PST

2013/02/24 · 15:05

I knew this was coming. She'd been sick a while (congestive heart failure), in and out of the hospital and then in a kind of lousy healthcare facility where she died today (2/24/12). We weren't overly close, her being a right-wing evangelical Fox Newser, and me being her youngest liberal gay unrepentant agnostic leaning atheist son. My father, a former NASA engineer (worked on the moon and shuttle missions) is pretty much the same, and they were both pretty co-dependent. Both in their early 80s, so he's probably not too long for this world either, although seems to get around fairly well.

We had a huge falling out after my brother was killed in a single car accident (most likely alcohol related) back in 91. That lasted til my complete implosion in 2008/9, after losing my job, apt, all possessions, and most of my friends, I came back home and stayed. It wasn't pretty, but it was that or the street.

Anyway, I thought I'd just put this out there, not sure why. There are some kind souls here and while I'm uncomfortable putting my personal sh*t out here for the world to see, I've seen far worse. Just looking for some kind words, not sympathy, not pity, just something friendly (or maybe a job offer ;)). I'm going to have to bottle up all my personal feelings as it going to be a Jesusy around here for I don't know how long.

Funny thing (if one can say that) is no one seems to be offering me any comfort. Granted, I hardly know any of my parent's friend, or relatives. And that's my fault. I'm pretty much a hermit and closed person. Don't end up like me, is all I can say.

Thanks for reading.....

Democratic Underground

liberalagogo

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Wednesday October 24, 2012 · 3:19 PM PDT

2012/10/24 · 15:19

This is a first diary, so be forgiving, as are some users on DU are not.

I just had the rather troubling experience on DU and being called a troll, in a rather obscenely worded message. In my post, I was pointing out my opinion that pushing the Romney alleged perjury right now would be rather short sided and possibly damaging due to Clinton's issues of lying under oath, especially with being such a visible Obama supporter. I was massively attacked for this, and called a troll....totally ignoring all my other post referring to Romney as The Stench, and being fairly anti-Republican. I was rather shocked. I got attacked here on Kos recently, and unfortunately caught myself up in the argument, the gist of which I don't remember, and got warned. But the other user turned out to be a troublemaker and got banned, and, oddly enough, he wound up attacking me on an unrelated to the above post or my exchange with him on DU. He was banned there too. Our screen names were the same so that's ho he got me. Is this common place? I didn't think I have to tiptoe on Kos or DU, if my opinion may not be entirely within the collective thought. I felt like I was on redstate or something. I try to keep it level, and explain any snark, if it's not obvious, and even then. Look at my posts. I enjoy Kos, and to an extent DU.....I don't really want to stop, but I don't need these unprovoked attacks by my own side in my life right now. Any feedback would be welcome.

As for the Clinton thing....if someone could nicely explain why my belief in Clinton's lie under oath is either not true, or worth focusing on right now, due to Romney's alleged lying under oath, I'd appreciate it. I'm neither anti-Clinton, or pro Republican.
I was wary of Obama at first, but He really is a good person, as is Bill, regardless of the affair. Anyway, I hope to hear some feedback, as this is my first time really diving into politcal discussions, and did not expect to get blindsided by some on the Left.

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Worst March, ever.

Worst Funeral, Ever.

My mother died this afternoon.

Democratic Underground