I have complex-PTSD from multiple sexual assaults, and was raped again last fall. I have a excellent care team (therapist, psychiatric nurse practitioner, acupuncturist who specializes in trauma victims, and an entire trauma treatment center that is amazingly supportive), and great friends. I was doing much better.
But then, I was raped again last fall. Again, I was doing better. Then that dickbag swimmer got 6 months for a horrible crime, and the victim wrote an amazing letter, and I wasn’t doing so good anymore. I am so fucking proud of her, and I am overmoon that the rape is getting so much attention because it will hopefully lead to more discussion and change, but it was hard to read about.
Then that fucking monster killed 49 loving people because he was homophobic and had a giant boner for an AR-15.
I can’t handle the pain. Maybe I am too empathetic, because I feel all Ms. Doe’s pain and the fear in the nightclub and the grief and anger of the victim’s loved ones. I can’t handle the pain and I am not safe because I am getting close to doing anything to stop it. I’m terrified of checking myself in to a hospital, but I think it is the safe thing to do. I’m meeting with my therapist in a few hours to discuss options.
I’m writing this to reach out to a great community for support. Inspired by Yasuragi’s diary: www.dailykos.com/…
Thank you,
Alicia
