Every morning, I wake up and there is a knot in the pit of my stomach. It’s been there, festering, for over a year now. It’s such a regular part of my life; that I can’t remember what it was like to not feel fear and worry as regular parts of my daily activities.
Some days, it feels like too much to bear, and it's all I can do to get out of bed. I feel like I might be stuck in my own personal "Groundhog Day." On those days, I have to remind myself to breathe, to put one foot in front of the other, and to keep moving.
By the time my deployment odyssey is over, my knot will probably be a full-blown ulcer. I envision my doctor telling me at my next exam; "Congratulations silvercedes," you’ve just given birth to a six pound ulcer that used to be your stomach...."
Read More