Warning: content below is meant to be satire
Des Moines, Iowa — Last week on the campaign trail GOP front runner Rick Perry was asked his position on ‘Ancient Astronaut theory’ — the theory that the pyramids in Egypt are so complex that they could only have been built by aliens. His answer created an archeological rift within the Republican Presidential field.
“The idea that Ancient Egyptians built the pyramids is a theory that is out there and has some gaps in it.” He added “In Texas we teach both sides of the debate. We teach both Egyptian Pyramid theory and Ancient Astronaut theory; we think you are smart enough to figure out which one is right.”
Tea Party favorite Michelle Bachmann, an Ancient Astronaut proponent for years, had even more to say on the matter.
"What I support is putting all science on the table and then letting students decide. I don't think it's a good idea for government to come down on one side of a scientific issue or another, when there is reasonable doubt on both sides."
Perry’s comment prompted a Twitter response from former Utah Governor Jon Huntsman.
“To be clear. I believe that Egyptians built the pyramids and trust NASA on the Moon Landing. Call me crazy.”
Huntsman, in an interview with ABC News’ Jake Tapper expressed concern with the Republican Party’s endorsement of Ancient Astronaut theory.
"I think there's a serious problem. The minute that the Republican Party becomes the anti-Egyptian party, we have a huge problem. We lose a whole lot of people who would otherwise allow us to win the election in 2012."
Former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney offered a more nuanced view.
“I believe that the Egyptians built the pyramids, but I also believe that aliens helped them along the way.” Romney’s mercurial view on the subject has caused a backlash amongst the anti-Egyptian wing of the Republican Party. In a furious afternoon radio broadcast Ancient Astronaut theorist and 2008 Romney supporter Rush Limbaugh has already pronounced Mitt Romney’s candidacy ‘dead.’
Former Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin offered an entirely different view on the matter.
“I believe that Paul Revere built the pyramids as a way to warn future Americans that a Kenyan-born President is going to try to take our guns away.”
Palin is now demanding that her ‘Paul Revere Pyramid theory’ be taught alongside Egyptian Pyramid theory and Ancient Astronaut theory.
“You know, don’t be afraid of information…Healthy debate is so important and it’s so valuable in our schools.”
