Energize An Ally Tuesday
A quick “Energize” post today. Yesterday a fresh New York Times-Siena College poll came out. Biden, as usual, looks good in Michigan, but incumbent Democratic Senator Gary Peters appears to be facing a bit of a squeaker as we hit the three-weeks-and-counting mark:
More via NorthBronxDem.
If you have a few bucks to spare, we hope you’ll join me in sending them to Senator Peters’ campaign via his ActBlue page. I can tell you from the seven years I spent in Michigan: that state needs all the Democrats in leadership positions it can get. Let’s help put Gary over the top. It’d be a shame if the blue wave didn’t take him over the finish line. Many thanks.
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, October 13, 2020
Note: Due to a mix-up in the C&J food chemistry lab, today's beef stroganoff tastes like black licorice slathered in windshield washer fluid. On the bright side, today in the C&J cafeteria all beef stroganoff is 50% off. —Mgt.
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By the Numbers:
Voting ends in three weeks!!!
Weeks 'til voting in the 2020 election ends: 3!!!
Minimum number of Americans who have already voted: 10 million
Percent chance that the Taliban has officially endorsed Donald Trump's reelection: 100%
Amount that South Carolina Democrat and Lindsey Graham opponent Jaime Harrison raised in the third quarter, shattering a Senate fundraising record: $57 million
Number of mail-in votes already cast in Wisconsin, versus 146,000 for all of 2016, according to The New York Times: 647,000
Amount Jimmy Carter paid for his current house in Plains, Georgia, according to CNBC, which also says he likes to shop at the local Dollar General: $167,000
Number of major tennis matches won by Rafael Nadal after he won the French Open (again) over the weekend: 20
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Oh fer…..
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CHEERS to opening day down in Lasso Land. Despite the Republican-led legislature's attempt to prevent it, early voting starts one week earlier than usual today in the—can't believe I'm saying this—"swing state" of Texas, where PPP polling says Joe Biden currently leads by a point and the expected 2020 blue wave could reach the walls of the Alamo, especially with women and people of color turning out to cast their middle fingers in Trump's direction:
The message is consistent across the Texas political spectrum: Don't let the coronavirus pandemic keep you from casting your vote in the Nov. 3 election. … Pandemic or not, experts are expecting a robust turnout in the election where the presidential race is the marquee. [C]ounties large and small, Republican-leaning or Democrat-leaning, are seeing an uptick in requests for mail-in ballots. […]
This item is about Texas, so see what graphic I picked? It’s a Texas graphic. THAT’S usin’ the old bean, Billeh!
Several counties, especially in urban settings, are adding polling places in an effort to avoid long lines. And many places will over offer curbside service so voters won't have to leave their vehicles and linger on in-person lines or go inside buildings.
So-called mega-centers, such as hotel ballrooms and high school gymnasiums are being used as polling places in many counties. Harris and Dallas counties are among those who taking it one step further. The American Airlines Center in downtown Dallas, home of the NBA's Dallas Mavericks, and Houston's Toyota Center, where the Rockets play, will be Election Day polling places.
Early voting's also in full swing here in Maine. Normally I'd wait until election day, but I'm doing the deed early this year. I want to have that vote banked in case I get eaten by a clown. It's a thing up here.
P.S. early voting started yesterday in Georgia. Think peach staters are fired up?
Go on...take a guess.
JEERS to a gigantic waste of everyone's time. Here's a handy recap of yesterday's Senate Judiciary Committee hearings for that lady whose name I haven't bothered to learn because everyone agrees that her confirmation is 1 gazillion percent assured:
Senator: My next question concerns Roe v. Wade. What are you feelings on how that was decided?
SCOTUS Nominee: Zool.
Senator: Beg pardon?
SCOTUS Nominee: You and your kind will spend eternity roasting over coal-burning fires in the pit of hell reserved for the wicked! Christ the redeemer is king!!!
[Poof!!!]
Senator: Okay. I'll mark that down as…decided poorly. Um, Mr. Chairman, do we know how to get her back in here after she does that ‘poof’ thing?
Today: her thoughts on Obamacare.
CHEERS to naval gazing. 245 years ago today, before we'd even declared our independence, the Continental Congress said, "Sure, why not?" (or, more accurately: "Sureth, why noteth?") to arming two ships with cannons. Little did they know that they had just formed the United States Navy:
The Continental Navy grew into an important force.
As you can see, the U.S. Navy’s first ship was crude and highly vulnerable to musket fire and hostile grappling-hook boardings. But designs have improved somewhat since then.
Within a few days, Congress established a Naval Committee charged with equipping a fleet. This committee directed the purchasing, outfitting, manning, and operations of the first ships of the new navy, drafted subsequent naval legislation, and prepared rules and regulations to govern the Continental Navy's conduct and internal administration. …
Over the course of the War of Independence, the Continental Navy sent to sea more than fifty armed vessels of various types. The navy's squadrons and cruisers seized enemy supplies and carried correspondence and diplomats to Europe, returning with needed munitions.
Their first official slogan is still in use today: "Beat Army."
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to supporting data. Great news, everybody. White House physician Dr. Sean Conley says that the Covid-19-ravaged president is “no longer considered a transmission risk to others.” He based his decision on a variety of reference points, including:
» POTUS fogs up mirror placed under his nose.
» Spent 24 hours without staring into a solar eclipse.
» Can still hold trowel to apply orange makeup.
» I'll get yelled at and fired via Twitter if I don’t clear him, thus denying me the glorious perks of this cushy-ass job—including coming in at 10 and leaving at 2 so I can still play golf at the country club and poker at the yacht club with all my frat bros—and forcing me to burn my freshly-ironed white lab coat with the gigantic presidential seal on it, which would jeopardize my status as a chick magnet.
Oh, and he also says the president’s post-covid tentacles are totally norms.
JEERS to celebrity (non-)power. On October 13, 1957, entertainment titans Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra introduced a new car on national TV. The hour-long special was a big ratings hit. Unfortunately, the car they were hawking was the Trump campaign of the auto world, the Ford Edsel…
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And just like Trumpcare, not even God could sell that thing.
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Ten years ago in C&J: October 13, 2010
ACH DU LIEBER! to Wilhelm in Portland Maine's Political Lesson von der Day. Today's lesson: if you're running for Congress, and three weeks before Election Day your press consists of headlines like, ”Ohio GOP candidate defends Nazi re-enactments”, it's pretty safe to say you can stop measuring the drapes for your D.C. office. (But, if I may say, Mr. Lott, I love what you've done with your bunker.)
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And just one more…
CHEERS to great moments in online ventriloquism. I hate to deliver the bad news, but here it is: Since Trump has become a veritable Superman after defeating Covid with one bleach injection tied behind his back, he's ruled that a second debate is out of the question. Joe Biden is simply no match for Trump’s superior genetics. So, in the interest of not hearing all you libturds crying and wailing over it, please enjoy this throwback to 2016, when the folks at Bad Lip Reading threw all the craziness they could think of at their riff on the second presidential debate:
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By the way, it's a good bet that debate #3 won't happen, either. I don't mind. Those damn events are always responsible for eating up half my monthly liquor and weed budget.
Have a tolerable Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
“Cheers and Jeers means everything to me. The love story that I have with this kiddie pool is unforgettable.”
—Rafael Nadal
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