Good Evening, I am not Chevy Chase, and neither are you (except for YOU, you lucky dog!).
Anyway, my main man Howard is on, right now.
He's bound so say pithy, wise, and potentially controversial things.
OMG!! He already said HIDE THE SALAMI and we're only 30 seconds into the interview. If I was female, and of child-bearing age, I would have one and name him (or her) Howard.