I don't know about all of you, but I'm having a hell of a time watching Tom DeLay dig a deeper & deeper hole for himself with each passing day, & I'm thrilled that he's decided to stick around & fight to the bitter end.
That can be nothing but good for fans of dark political theater, not to mention the fortunes of Democratic candidates in the '06 congressional elections. We should all be writing letters of support to the little pissbag urging him to "stay the course," "smoke 'em out," "bring 'em on," & all that right-wing bullshit. In fact, here's a sample draft:
Dear Tom:
Don't quit. Please, please, please don't quit. I know that it looks bad for the good guys right now, especially now that Satan's minions have soiled your godly reputation by attacking your divine right to take what is yours from the evil Federal government and the debauched, mongrelized masses that it represents. Those commies over at CNN must be whooping and drooling like Michael Jackson at Gattitown, but their day will come, soon enough.
Even now, as the moon waxes in the sky, I can feel the ever-approaching presence of the Holy Ghost. It is inside my TV right now, whispering a single word -- VICTORY -- between the baseball scores. It sends me visions in my dreams, in which I can smell the altar fires and see the roaring crucibles that await the unrighteous. Victory will indeed be ours; but you cannot pass the torch now. We need your leadership, your spiritual guidance, your sticky fingers, and your experience in extermination. We cannot afford to lose our hammer now that we've built all these crosses.
So hang on, my intrepid champion of all that is orthodox and manly. Hang on until Je-sus himself comes back to Earth to vanquish your enemies and personally feed you their myrrh-laced blood from a golden chalice. I know it will happen. My TV says it won't, but the Holy Ghost wouldn't lie to me.
Yours in self-righteousness,
[insert name here]
That oughta hold him for a while.