Are you bruised, battered and bewildered from the recent battle royale over ads featuring scantily clad hunks fighting in chocolate? (Okay, I can dream...) Has the heated debate singed you just this side of burnt toast? Well, Revel is here to help you.
(You know someone is serious when they refer to themselves in the third person.)
You my friend, are in need of some positive reenforcement. And I am here to give. I'm a giver.
Your gift awaits you down the spiral staircase, just below the fold.
After several years...er..days of the conflict, it dawned on me what was REALLY bothering me the most about this scuttlebutt. So many people at so many given times were telling so many other people what they were doing wrong: how they were misled, mistaken, misinformed, misguided, everything but Miss Congeniality. So much intelligence, so much passion, so little diplomacy. C'est la vie, right?
If I were to calculate in scientific terms what this cost in self image and self worth, why it would mean...who am I kidding, I'm not scientific and not even very calculating. But you understand, right.
People out there are bruised worse than an Irish pub fight.
So here You. You need to be told some things about yourself.
Secretly, everybody wants you. Seriously. You are a wanted individual.
You are bright, witty, effective, informed, and talented. Oprah wishes she was you.
You are neither too profane, nor lacking in profanity. You mutherfucking rock, to be precise.
Sailors wish they could balance their profanity like you.
That point you were making, which was dismissed as puerile, egomaniacal, shrill, and distasteful? You were right. 100%, 9-0 Supreme Court decision. King Solomon bows to your wisdom.
Your spelling and grammar errors? Forget about it...it has given you a charm and panache that Georgie himself would envy, if he knew what either word meant.
You are also modest to a fault, and would never
ever say these things about yourself. So Revel has said it for you. And next time you're called on the carpet, remember...YOU'RE THE BEST.