I remember back when Dean was in the hunt, back in the winter of 2003.
I was at a family Christmas party talking to a liberal clatch of relatives, out of earshot from the more Republican among us.
There was a certain swagger and brio. Bush was ripe for the taking, and everyone knew that Howard Dean was the man to do it.
Well, everyone on the internets, it seemed.
I told them all about the internet revolution and power to the people. Etc.
Blah.
When Dean lost the primaries, I lost a lot of steam and gusto. Part of Dean's charm was that he could make it through the primaries, that he could win! Well, he couldn't or at least didn't.
Then Kerry. Blah. John Edwards was cool, kinda.
And we lost.
WE LOST. WE FRIKKEN LOST.
Then no more compulsive Kos checking. No more craving for nuggest from Atrios and Kevin Drum. No more talkingpointsmemo.com.
Just darkness.
Now I've crept back, I check Atrios every day or two and Kos when I'm in the mood.
But I still can't get back that sense of betrayal I got after Dean lost. Like the school girl who found out that her first lover cheated on her, I sit here still a little hurt and confused.
I still believe in politics. I still believe that we are on the wrong course. But I haven't felt adequately addressed since the election.
Sure I fist pump practically everytime I hear Harry Reid is throwing a monkey wrench in the Repulican's master plan, and I am agog when I look at how overreaching the Right is right now.
But I miss that one clear voice above the fray, that can speak to me. And inspire me to be better than myself.
That's what I'm looking for. And I'm sad that the left hasn't produced anyone (well I guess Barrack) to do that.
That's why I don't read Kos much anymore.