Patriots, all of you. George, Condi, Dennis Bastert, Tom Delay, Trent Lott, all of and all of your friends. Your patriots because you protect Americans from the evil Iraqi WMD's which, apparently (since we're still there) are aimed directly at us. You're patriots because you face down terrorists with truth: "they hate us for our FREEDOM". You're all patriots because you can see the wisdom of a broke and loaned out America where I would see folly. You're truly patriots because you care about the good of all American's, including the vegetative and fetal, above your and your family's own lives. You're all super Captain America types because you fight for the rights of all Americans including gays, blacks, hispanics, asian, but most honorably and steadfastly, the poor---you are champions of the downtrodden, and I thank you. You are uber-Nationalists because you care so much about God and in His name you carry out all manner of godly works, like invading countries which are obvious terrorist dens.
I want to thank you George, and your companions for being so trustworty, so honorable, so pious, so candid, and so full of goodliness that you make the rest of us look like pre-historic cave-dwellers. Thank you for being so patriotic that you immediately jumped on the Hurricane relief effort. Its patriots like you who make life bearable for those afflicted but such events. You are righteous and noble people and you should be for few others could do the good works you do, like gutting our natural resources, wrecking our environment, killing our ecosystem, granting tax cuts that benefit the richest of us, and so many more wonderful things. Thank you.
And incidentally thank you for caring so much as to show up SIX days after a hurricane wrecked a sizable chunk of the country that you work so diligently to fuck at every turn. Apparently the people of NO "feel your love" as you "feel their pain".
Thanks guys, you're all top-notch and if I could recommend instant afterlife for all of you I would. And I sincerely mean that. Though you may not wish to go to the afterlife I would choose for you, for it is reserved for others as honorable and forthright as yourselves: Hitler, Stalin, Lenin, Pol Pot, Mao Tse-tung, Timothy McVeigh, the Wacko from Waco, Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer. I could go on but you probably will get the point as you are all as intellectually gifted as you are patriotic.
K thanks then, have a nice life and make lots of money and kill lots of people cuz when you die....YOU'RE MINE.