Got me one of those jobby things. Kind of neat. I work my tail off, say, "Yes, Sir and No, Sir." and hope I get them in the right places. A guy I heard about called Uncle Sam offered me a deal.
Kinda went like this.....
How would you like to loan me some money under the following terms and conditions?
- I’ll borrow a certain percent of your wages each week you work.
- I’ll tell you the percentage but it can change almost any time I desire.
- I’ll pay you a monthly annuity when you retire.
- I’ll decide how much to pay you each month.
- I’ll decide when you can retire.
- I’ll pay you interest on the loan.
- I’ll decide how much interest will be charged.
- I’ll allow you or your kids to supply the money to pay the interest.
- I’ll allow you or your kids to supply the money for me to pay your annuity.
- I’ll create marketable bonds to secure the loan.
- I’ll sell the marketable bonds for cash if I need it.
- I’ll give you non-marketable bonds if I sell the marketable bonds.
- I’ll pay interest on the non-marketable bonds also.
- I’ll pay the interest on the non-marketable bonds with additional non-marketable bonds.
- I’ll allow you or your kids to pay cash to retire the interest and principal on the non-marketable and marketable bonds someday.
- If you loan me too much money, I might default if I so desire.
- By the way, this loan is mandatory.
In summary: I’ve been watching and listening to you workers complain about corporate pension plans with respect to the manner in which you’ve been treated. I’d rather you didn’t behave in that manner concerning our arrangement. I’m just trying to help you and if you fail to give me enough money
that’s your fault. Then again, if you give me too much money or if I simply mis-manage it, it’s your fault.
In the manner of safety concerning the money, don’t worry about it. I’ll set up a trust fund that isn’t really a trust. I’ll appoint trustees that aren’t really trustees. I’ll use the word insurance to create the illusion this is an insurance policy. There won’t be any insurance involved. I’ll call it a “pay as you go” program but it’s really a build up a surplus of funds program.
From time to time I’ll use misinformation to confuse you. I’ll use words like lock box, entitlements, claw back, etc. I’ll set this up over a 75 year program even though you’ll die before that expires. Hell, I might even inform you that your retirement is dragging my economy down just to create guilt upon your behalf
Don’t worry about anyone raiding the trust fund. There’s nothing of value in it. If you discover a dislike or a complaint regarding our arrangement or if I decide I don’t like our arrangement, I’ll make you invest in a private account. If that’s the case, I’ll borrow money on your future earnings so you can invest in the private account. Of course, I’ll have to determine how much that will cost
you and exactly what you can invest in.
Hell, I might allow you to invest your money in my bonds
so your private account will be safe. I pay the highest interest rate in the country with the money you or your kids loan me.