I have proof that there is an active surveillance program in effect. And while our government may be slow and inefficient in many things they do, in this case they acted very rapidly.
We had about nine other couples and their kids over to our house last week to watch the SOTU address and to play a drinking game while we shared our pain. The active surveillance program must have detected fairly quickly that there were a bunch of them durned liberals mocking the president and it swung into action post haste.
Tragic details below....
The address was painful, as you are all well aware, but somewhat more tolerable through a haze of beer and wine. I was on my sixth beer when the speech ended. Much joyous mockery was underway and all were having as good a time as could be had, given that we have a couple more years of this to endure.
The last guests finally bid their goodbyes, all the empty beer and wine bottles were rounded up, filling the recycle bin to the brim. The kitchen was cleaned, our kids were tucked into bed and we were getting ready for bed when we noticed the water pressure in our bathroom was rather low. A quick check reassured us that the sprinkler system had not kicked in (we live in Arizona), and I set out to check out the house. I quickly found the problem, in the shape of one of our hot water heaters pouring water out from around the spigot at the bottom. The carpet in the adjacent toyroom was flooded and it was working it's way down the hall. I spent the next four hours with a wet-vac, extracting water from the carpeting and we've spent the week since then dealing with getting a new water heater and getting people in to clean up the rest of the water damage to the drywall, etc.
The only explanation I can possibly come up with for the timing of this event, is that the civilian surveillance program is more active and efficient than we ever thought. Alarm bells went off at our mockery and Karl Rove and Dick Cheney promptly dispatched one of their human-animal hybrids to Tempe to inflict their retribution. This mystery hybrid that attacked my water heater had to have been part woodpecker, to poke a hole, and possibly part tapeworm to slide under the door into the closed utility room. We can debate whether having Dick Cheney's evil soul makes it part human or not.
Does anybody else have any first hand experience with these human-animal hybrids as vengeful tools of the national citizen surveillance program? Please share.