WARD'S CROSSING, NY (CAP) - While pro-immigration rallies in Georgia, Los Angeles and Arizona have garnered most of the headlines the past few days, that didn't stop Larry Elmore and his third cousin Billy Farr from staging their own anti-immigration rally in the bucolic upstate New York hamlet of Ward's Crossing.
"I ain't got nothing against the Mexicans, ya know?" said Elmore as he waved a 'Build A Fence, Eh?' sign. "I enjoy a few tequila sunrises with the boys down at the plant every Friday night. It's them damn Canadians."
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"Yeah, I hates me them beaverbacks," chimed in Farr as he prepared to burn an effigy of Anne Murray.
"Beaverbacks? I thought we was calling them moosebacks?" asked Elmore.
"Whatever we call them, they have to be stopped. They come down here and take our entertainment jobs, buy up all our cheap cigarettes and booze and suck up all our chemotherapy. And that queen from England is technically their leader."
"Yeah, we don't need Elton John dictortating to us - we already gots us a dictortator."
The two men were briefly joined by a group of third-graders who had gotten lost trying to find the Ward's Crossing Bolt & Nut Museum, but in the end it was just Elmore and Farr, gathered around the dying embers of their Anne Murray dummy, humming South Park's "Blame Canada."
A short distance down the road sat the US/Canadian border crossing, bristling with guards determined to keep out the illegal blue-state Americans that have been trying to cross the border for the past several years. They nervously eyed the two apparent homeless men burning an apparent homeless woman, but decline to comment for this story.
-Courtesy of http://www.crystalair.com
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