Long time lurker, first time diarist...so be kind. I have for as long as I can remember been a part of the throngs that attend public fireworks shows on the 4th of July. My childhood memories bring back thoughts of sitting on football field bleachers or on the field on a blanket gazing up at the sky. If we were lucky my Mom would keep my sister and me sufficiently occupied until the show began with some soda and candy (yes, a product of the 70's). I remember everyone in my small hometown being there and watching the local booming light show. I remember the vibrant colors and sounds and just having a great time on a warm summer evening with those I know and love all around. What I don't recall about these wonderful childhood memories is that these celebrations evoked feelings other than some lighthearted patriotism and a fun night out. Over the last couple of years that changed for me...follow below:
Now I understand that those that grew up in the 50's and 60's may have a different perspective as I was not really exposed to the tragedy and discension cause by Vietnam. I was sheltered in our small little town and grew up at a time when things were winding down with Vietnam, Nixon, etc. So perhaps I am viewing through rose-colored glasses, but I see that even these once entertaining once-a-year community get-togethers to celebrate our Nation's birth as an excuse to praise God and his "gift" to humanity, the U.S.A.
Last evening my family and I attended a local minor league baseball game that advertised an extravagent fireworks and musical spectacle at the conclusion of the game. The evening was warm, the crowd was large, the game was pleasant. As the visiting team made each out in the 9th inning, the folks running the fireworks show lit off a small sample of the show to come! The game finally ended with the local nine victorious. My wife and two teenage sons waited in anticipation as the lights fell and the first rockets were released.
Then it began...the first song played to accompany the light show was none other than Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA." Bruce's blistering diatribe about the way we've treated our Vietnam vetrans could just as easily be used to describe the lives of our Gulf War vets and current Veterans coming back from Iraq and Afghanistan. Most in the audience chanted along with the chorus, not thinking of, or perhaps knowing, the song's true meaning. My wife turned to me and said that the song didn't seem to fit the occassion given its subject matter, I agreed but we both knew that most were not thinking the way we were.
Next up the beautiful rendition of "America" by Ray Charles. I love this song and the way Ray sings it. However, as I was listening, I became increasingly uneasy with Ray's constant reference to "God" and "the Lord" where once it would not even have been an afterthought. I thought to myself, "I am becoming a cynical bastard!" I am letting my opinions of these last horrible 6 years, the incesant yak,yak,yak of the right-wing-hate-machine and the constant barrage of terrible news coming from all quarters ruin one of the truly moving songs about our beloved country. Why?? Ok, calm down, watch the show, enjoy the company you are with and the beautiful colors....
Ehhhhh!!! Wrong! Next up, like a sledgehammer to my skull, Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the U.S.A." That complete piece of shit that has been thrust down our throats for the past 4 years. I wanted to gag, I wanted to run, I wanted to punch every red-neck moron that was singing along with this pornographic piece of propaganda! Instead I just sat there and cringed knowing that this is now a part of the American mainsteam celebration of this once wonderful holiday. I wanted to weep for the innocence of this celebration lost, knowing that my boys will never grow up in a world without the fear-mongering right-wing assholes who dominate our airwaves and media, perhaps only knowing of the freedom's this celebration represents in a song, or a movie, or the once-proud symbol of our flag.
As I walked out of the stadium I though about the words of that retched song and how our country has changed. I can only hope that some day my boy's kids will once again experience the joy and wonderment of that night once a year when the sky is a tapestry painted with the colors, lights and sounds of our country's proud dream.