Iran has nyookular weapons!? Ohh, that's trouble.
Iran sponsors terrorists??!? Trouble, for sure!
Iranian terrorist guards are killing our troops that we SUPPORT?!??! Oh, man - TROUBLE!!
Iranian nyookular terrorist bombs are FOLLOWING OUR TROOPS HOME?!??!
Well, WE GOT TROUBLE, my friends!! We got TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE TROUBLE!!!!
PROF. HAROLD HILL: First I gotta find a way to get into some of these Iowa boodle bags.
MARCELLUS: Greg, it ain't easy . . .
HILL: Now, Marce, I need some ideas, if I'm gonna get your town out of the serious trouble it's in.
MARCELLUS: River City ain't in any trouble.
HILL: We're gonna hafta create some.
Every time I hear BushCheney or one of their minions waving their hands in the air and getting the vapors about what a terrible, awful, imminent, uncontrollable nyookular threat Iran is, I can't help but flash back to that classic film about a traveling flim-flam man and his dimwitted accomplice who swindle a small town full of gullible yokels, who eagerly swallow - hook, line and sinker - the con men's laughably improbable spiel, handing over their hard-earned cash, not daring to question why.
And then I can't help but flash forward to the buildup to the illegal invasion of Iraq, wherein a traveling flim-flam man and his dimwitted accomplice manage to swindle an entire nation full of gullible yokels, who eagerly swallow - hook, line and sinker - the con men's laughably improbable spiel, handing over their hard-earned cash, not daring to question why . . .
President George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., June 21, 2007: "Al Qaeda would be emboldened . . . People would look back 50 years from now, I'm confident, and say . . . ['H]ow come they didn't deal with Iran as a perpetuator of radical Shiism . . . which would endanger the United States of America[?'] . . . I'm going to tell you something, I see the danger, I see the threat."
President George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., March 6, 2003: "The risk of doing nothing, the risk of hoping that Saddam Hussein changes his mind and becomes a gentle soul, the risk that somehow -- that inaction will make the world safer, is a risk I'm not willing to take for the American people."
Prof. Harold Hill, River City, Iowa, 1912:
"Well, either you're closing your eyes
To a situation you do not wish to acknowledge,
Or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated
By the presence of a pool table in your community!
Welll, ya got trouble, my friend, right here,
I say, trouble right here in River City!"
TROUBLE!
White House "Fact Sheet," August 2006: "The World Faces A Grave Threat From The Radical Regime In Iran"
President George W. Bush, October 2, 2002: "[T]he Iraqi regime is a threat of unique urgency. . . . [I]t has developed weapons of mass death."
Prof. Harold Hill, River City, Iowa, 1912:
"Oh, we've got trouble!
We're in terrible, terrible trouble!
That game with the fifteen numbered balls is the devil's tool!
Oh, yes - we got trouble! Trouble! Trouble!"
TROUBLE!
President George W. Bush, Reno, Nevada, August 28, 2007: "[Iran] is the world's leading state sponsor of terrorism . . .Iran's active pursuit of technology that could lead to nyookular weapons threatens to put a region already known for instability and violence under the shadow of a nyookular holocaust."
President George W. Bush, Cincinnati, Ohio, October 7, 2002: "We know that the [Iraqi] regime has produced thousands of tons of chemical agents, including mustard gas, sarin nerve gas, VX nerve gas . . . It possesses and produces chemical and biological weapons. It is seeking nyookular weapons . . . We've also discovered through intelligence that Iraq has a growing fleet of manned and unmanned aerial vehicles that could be used to disperse chemical or biological weapons across broad areas . . . Iraq possesses ballistic missiles with a likely range of hundreds of miles - far enough to strike Saudi Arabia, Israel, Turkey and other nations - in a region where more than 135,000 American civilians and service members live and work . . . Facing clear evidence of peril, we cannot wait for the final proof -- the smoking gun -- that could come in the form of a mushroom cloud."
Prof. Harold Hill, River City, Iowa, 1912:
"I say, first: medicinal wine from a teaspoon;
Then beer from a bottle!
An' the next thing ya know, your son is playin' for money
In a pinch-back suit,
list'nin' to some big out-a-town Jasper,
hearin' him talk about horse-race gamblin'!
Not a wholesome trottin' race - no! -
but a race where they set down right on the horse!
Like to see some stuck-up jockey boy sittin' on Dan Patch? Make your blood boil? Well, I should say!"
TROUBLE!
President George W. Bush, Salt Lake City, Utah, August 31, 2006: "[T]he world now faces a grave threat from the radical regime in Iran. [T]he Iranian regime is pursuing nyookular weapons in open defiance of its international obligations . . . We know the death and suffering that Iran's sponsorship of terrorists has brought, and we can imagine how much worse it would be if Iran were allowed to acquire nyookular weapons."
President George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., February 8, 2003:
"One of the greatest dangers we face is that weapons of mass destruction might be passed to terrorists who would not hesitate to use those weapons. Saddam Hussein has longstanding, direct and continuing ties to terrorist networks."
Prof. Harold Hill, River City, Iowa, 1912:
"I'm gonna be perfectly frank.
Would ya like to know what kinda conversation goes
On while they're loafin' around that hall?
They'll be tryin' out Bevo, tryin' out Cubebs,
Tryin' out Tailor Mades like ceegarette FIENDS!
And braggin' all about
How they're gonna cover up a tell-tale breath with Sen-Sen.
One fine night, they leave the pool hall,
Headin' for the dance at the Arm'ry!
Libertine men and scarlet women!
And ragtime! - shameless music
That'll grab your son and your daughter
With the arms of a jungle animal instinct!
MASS-STARIA!
Friends, the idle brain is the devil's playground!"
TROUBLE!
President George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., January 10, 2007: "Iran would be emboldened in its pursuit of nyookular weapons. Our enemies would have a safe haven from which to plan and launch attacks on the American people. On September the 11th, 2001, we saw what a refuge for extremists on the other side of the world could bring to the streets of our own cities."
President George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., January 28, 2003: "Saddam Hussein aids and protects terrorists, including members of al Qaeda . . . Before September the 11th, many in the world believed that Saddam Hussein could be contained . . . Imagine those 19 hijackers with other weapons and other plans -- this time armed by Saddam Hussein."
Prof. Harold Hill, River City, Iowa, 1912:
"We've surely got trouble!
Right here in River City!
Remember the Maine, Plymouth Rock and the Golden Rule!"
TROUBLE!
President George W. Bush, Tipp City, Ohio, April 9, 2007: "Two of the biggest issues we face for the security of this country today and tomorrow is [sic] al Qaeda and Iran. . . Iran is a serious problem. This is a nation that has said they want to have a nyookular -- or we believe wants to have a nyookular weapon. And to what end? They don't need a nyookular weapon."
Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, September 18, 2002: "His regime has amassed large, clandestine stockpiles of biological weapons - including anthrax and botulism toxin, and possibly smallpox. His regime has amassed large, clandestine stockpiles of chemical weapons - including VX, sarin, cyclosarin and mustard gas. His regime has an active program to acquire and develop nuclear weapons."
Prof. Harold Hill, River City, Iowa, 1912:
"Why, sure, I'm a billiard player
Certainly mighty proud to say,
I'm always mighty proud to say it
I consider the hours I spend with a cue in my hand are golden
Help you cultivate horse sense and a cool head and a keen eye -
Didja ever take an' try an' give an iron-clad leave to yourself
from a three-rail billiard shot?
But just as I say it takes judgment, brains and maturity
to score in a balk-line game
I say that any boob
can take and shove a ball in a pocket."
TROUBLE!
President George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., September 5, 2006: "The Iranian regime and its terrorist proxies have demonstrated their willingness to kill Americans -- and now the Iranian regime is pursuing nyookular weapons."
Vice President Dick Cheney, Nashville, Tennessee, August 26, 2002: "Simply stated, there is no doubt that Saddam Hussein now has weapons of mass destruction. There is no doubt he is amassing them to use against our friends, against our allies, and against us."
Prof. Harold Hill, River City, Iowa, 1912:
"Mothers of River City!
Heed the warning before it's too late!
Watch for the tell-tale sign of corruption!
The moment your son leaves the house,
Does he rebuckle his knickerbockers below the knee?
Is there a nicotine stain on his index finger?
A dime novel hidden in the corn crib?
Is he starting to memorize jokes
from Captain Billy's Whiz Bang?
Are certain words creeping into his conversation?
Words like 'swell?’
And 'So's your old man’?
Well, if so my friends,
Ya got trouble,
Right here in River City!
With a capital "T!"
And that rhymes with "P!"
And that stands for pool!"
TROUBLE!
President George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., September 5, 2006: "Like al Qaeda and the Sunni extremists, the Iranian regime has clear aims . . . [Hezbollah] has killed more Americans than any terrorist organization except al Qaeda. Unlike al Qaeda, they've not yet attacked the American homeland . . . [T]errorists who we believe were working with Iranian officials [killed 19 Americans].
President George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., March 6, 2003: "If the world fails to confront the threat posed by the Iraqi regime, refusing to use force, even as a last resort, free nations would assume immense and unacceptable risks. The attacks of September the 11th, 2001 showed what the enemies of America did with four airplanes. We will not wait to see what terrorists or terrorist states could do with weapons of mass destruction."
TROUBLE!
President George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., October 20, 2006:
"We face a cold-blooded enemy. You can't negotiate with these people. You cannot hope for the best . . .They will murder the innocent. They have no conscience . . . [T]his group of ideologues wants to establish a caliphate . . . [T]hey want to spread their ideology of hate from Indonesia to Spain . . . [C]ompound that with a nyookular Iran, and the world 20 or 30 years from now is going to say, what happened to them in 2006? How come they couldn't see the threat? What blinded these people in order that they did not do their job?
President George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., January 28, 2003: "With nyookular arms or a full arsenal of chemical and biological weapons, Saddam Hussein could resume his ambitions of conquest in the Middle East and create deadly havoc in that region. And this Congress and the America people must recognize another threat: Evidence from intelligence sources, secret communications, and statements by people now in custody reveal that Saddam Hussein aids and protects terrorists, including members of al Qaeda. Secretly, and without fingerprints, he could provide one of his hidden weapons to terrorists, or help them develop their own.
TROUBLE!
President George W. Bush, Reno, Nevada, August 28, 2007:
"Iran's actions threaten the security of nations everywhere . . . We will confront this danger before it is too late . . . [I]f these forces of radicalism and extremism are allowed to drive us out of the Middle East[, t]he region would be dramatically transformed in a way that could imperil the civilized world. Extremists of all strains would be emboldened by the knowledge that they forced America to retreat. Terrorists could have more safe havens to conduct attacks on Americans . . . Iran could conclude that we were weak -- and could not stop them from gaining nyookular weapons. And once Iran had nyookular weapons, it would set off a nyookular arms race in the region . . . Shia extremists, backed by Iran, are training Iraqis to carry out attacks on our forces and the Iraqi people . . .
Vice President Dick Cheney, Washington, D.C., January 10, 2003: "Iraq could decide on any given day to provide biological or chemical weapons to a terrorist group, or individual terrorists"
TROUBLE!
Vice President Dick Cheney, Washington, D.C., February 7, 2006: "We think [the situation with Iran right now is] dangerous . . . [T]hey appear to be determined to develop the capacity to produce nuclear weapons."
John Bolton, Undersecretary of State for Arms Control, Washington, D.C., November 1, 2002: "We estimate that once Iraq acquires fissile material -- whether from a foreign source or by securing the materials to build an indigenous fissile material capability -- it could fabricate a nuclear weapon within one year. It has rebuilt its civilian chemical infrastructure and renewed production of chemical warfare agents, probably including mustard, sarin, and VX. It actively maintains all key aspects of its offensive BW [biological weapons] program."
TROUBLE!
President George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., August 21, 2006: "Imagine how difficult this issue would be if Iran had a nyookular weapon . . . [O]ne of the things I will continue to remind our friends and allies is the danger of a nyookular-armed Iran."
President George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., January 28, 2003: "British intelligence has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa. Our intelligence sources tell us that he has attempted to purchase high-strength aluminum tubes suitable for nyookular weapons production . . . "
TROUBLE!
President George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 30, 2007: "[A] significant threat to world peace, today and in the future, is the Iranian threat if they were to end up with a nyookular weapon."
Vice President Dick Cheney, Washington, D.C., December 9, 2001: "[I]t's been pretty well confirmed that he [9/11 plotter Mohammed Atta] did go to Prague and he did meet with a senior official of the Iraqi intelligence service in Czechoslovakia last April, several months before the attack."
TROUBLE!
President George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 24, 2007: "[A]n Iran with a nyookular weapon would be incredibly destabilizing for the world."
President George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., February 8, 2003: "One of the greatest dangers we face is that weapons of mass destruction might be passed to terrorists who would not hesitate to use those weapons. Saddam Hussein has longstanding, direct and continuing ties to terrorist networks."
TROUBLE!
President George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., February 14, 2007: "[A]n Iran with a nyookular weapon would be very dangerous . . . "
White House Press Secretary Ari Fleischer, Washington, D.C., January 9, 2003: "We know for a fact that there are weapons there."
Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, Washington, D.C., March 30, 2003:
"We know where [the weapons of mass destruction] are. They're in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad and east, west, south and north somewhat."
President George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 29, 2003: "We found the weapons of mass destruction."
TROUBLE! RIGHT HERE IN RIVER CITY!!
Okay, okay: so they were wrong - unbelievably, breathtakingly wrong - about Iraq. So what? To insist that they were "wrong" is to utterly miss the point.
Right, wrong or indifferent, THOSE WHO FLIM-FLAMMED THE AMERICAN PUBLIC INTO BUYING AN ILLEGAL INVASION AND OCCUPATION OF IRAQ GOT IT EXACTLY RIGHT - they sold their scam, they made their money, and they're on to the next scam. In fact - !! - they're still making boatloads of money off the first scam!
And, like the gullible townspeople of River City, who were convinced they could envision a magnificent marching band where none existed,
many Americans even to this day remain unshaken in their belief about a connection between the attacks of September 11, 2001, and the Iraqi regime of Saddam Hussein - this delusion persisting even after their own Prof. Harold Hill had told them, in so many words, Iraq had nothing to do with September 11th.
MARIAN: What band?
[looks at them in disgust, shaking her head]
MARIAN: Honestly! A bunch of grown men!
[she turns heel and walks away, then turns back to address them once more]
MARIAN: Along comes this fly-by-night salesman, and you're all taken in!
And, just like Harold Hill and his sidekick Marcellus, the hucksters who sold the Iraq invasion and occupation couldn't care less about whether the rationale they used to swindle the American public is right, wrong or indifferent - the fact is, THEY GOT WHAT THEY WANTED OUT OF THE DEAL - NAMELY, YOUR MONEY.
Listening to the execrable Norman Podhoretz on Thom Hartmann's show yesterday morning, I had to chuckle as Thom reminded Podhoretz that Podhoretz was utterly wrong about the Soviet threat in the 1970s and about the Iraqi threat in the 1990s and 2000s - because right or wrong, none of that matters. What matters is that the SALES PITCH works - once the sale is made, the rest is irrelevant.
And right now, Podhoretz is right in line with his other traveling snake-oil buddies from PNAC, trying to get the American people all in a lather about Iran. They don't care if they're right or wrong - they just want you to buy what they're selling.
TROUBLE!!!
Same lipstick, different pig.