Just a little light relief for the weekend. After all, you need it. A heavy week of being Kossack Deciders does take a toll. Just ask GWB about the toll life imposes on all us Deciders, political and otherwise!
Anyway, thinking about that (and being on a third bottle of wine), I DECIDED there should be some acknowledgement of the role of true Deciders in our nation’s history. And who could be more appropriate as an example than our very own Decider, especially when cast against the light of one of his most revered Heroes, none other than another GW, George Washington!
How do I know he is an official GWB Hero? Well, GWB himself has told us that he has read three books about him, all in one year! We only know of him reading two other books... one by Camus, but being a foreign author (specifically French), there could be no inspiration there, could there? Then of course, there was The Pet Goat. But all knowledgeable persons agree that GWB would never accept a goat as a Hero... an Ass maybe, but never a goat!
Well, enough already. Let’s get back to this hero-worship thing, okay?
What brought all of this to mind? Actually, it as a ‘leaker’... no, not an anonymous unattributed souse source, but a young child I was holding to my chest and gently patting, expecting a burp. Instead, there was a distinctive leak, as if to say, "Piss on you!" Reminded me immediately of GWB (others, too), and that is what set me on my quest, which was amazing.
One of my unnamed sources gave me a clue; that led me to another (unnamed source), and in turn others. How exciting, and how very authentic, and how astounding, as each increasingly secretive source led me to the fruition of my quest! (Thanks, Turdblossom... and you, too, Gonzo!)
You see, I reckoned that like most presidents and many other prominent figures, GWB would want to leave a legacy for all, by which to judge his brilliance, something sweeping and dramatic, maybe like Ben Hur... most presidents, of course, simply write what we could call memoirs. But being a Harvard MBA, GWB has been given to efficiency and maximizing profits, so what he did was prepare a secret memo, of which I obtained a copy. I was not able to discern its addressees (unfortunately). But, it is so secretive, intended to be so secret, it was handwritten! (Took a long time in translation and hope not too much was lost in the process.)
FROM : POTUS (You know... ur boss!)
TO: You Know Who U R!
Look, I need a legacy... you know, like all the POTUSES before. That means a book or somethin, maybe a whole dame damned series. They will be good for me, and the will be good for the party. So, you guys get some ghost writers lined up, ok? I have thot about it long and hard, and I have already come up with some titles and notes for the them. Have them ready to be published at about one a month after I go back to Crawford Maine. When it is all finished, no body will disput my legacy!
And you know, I will probable need the mony, too. My planned speaking fees of $75k might not work out so well. I have to get that democraticcy institute started in Dallas right away. That is the onlyt way I can funnel the cash. Anyway, get started on this... and maybe Alberto or Don or Turdblossom can give you some ideas too.
Fathers Of Their Country notes: I have been reding about Geo W., as you know. There is a lot in common. He was the first elected pres of the nation. I was the first appointed elected pres of the new milleneum. He fought a war. Thankfully, though it took a lot of work, I have, too. That he ended his is just chance. He took CIC bit serious, as do I... of course he actually took personal command of forces during the Whiskey Rebellion. I just simply was not able to be in VietnamIraq. But we had the same goals. He kinda started the unitary executive bit in his time; I have done my part in that. He taxed all those no-gooders, but helped the the ones better off who deserved it. I have done that too.
Tough Decisions I Have Known notes: Don’t mention Iraq, except for our surge, ok? And tell everybody how I agonized over those tax cuts and all... and don’t forget some of that energy stuff. And explain how a veto of SHIIP was actually a responsible thing... that kids and their families have to pull their weight, too. And how my spying and interrogation are protections for everybody. And the TSA lists, and the databases and everything. You know what I mean.
Profiles In Courage – II notes: The II is cause I think JFK already stole that title. Of course, I expect a very good forward and intro. I know you get Cheney, but don’t forget Donald, Alberto, and oh yes, Patraeus. You might work in a way to add McConnel, Hayden, and just to be fair, Reid and Pelosi? You can add Frist and Lott, if you want. I don’t care. Both of em are suckups.
Now I have not had time to think about this much, seeing as how it is almost time to go to Camp David, or Crawford, or wherever. But that is what you are paid to do. In a week, I expect to see your thoughts on this, and at least a half dozen possible new titles with notes from every one of you. Special reward for whoever can work in something about Camous and goats.
Signed: Wartime Commander, Decider... Your Friend, The POTUS
I also heard he is preparing to bequeath an historical legacy to the nation, aside from his library ( a very small room, so I have heard). He has been seen gift-wrapping a box with a time lock (scheduled to open on the 12th of Never, to be transferred to the national archives. It reportedly contains several hundred personally signed statements, along with an unknown number of secret memos and Executive Orders.
There is no doubt that after what will be eight extremely stressful criminal eventful years, GWB should surely have a larger and more varied legacy for posterity. After all, ghost writers abound. I might even volunteer to add to the ‘mark’ he wishes to place in history as his own. What about you? And if that is too much, could you at least add some possible titles and preliminary notes? I am sure George I+XLII would be appreciative.