Cross posted as a grateful guest at folo
A boy admitted to starting one of more than a dozen wildfires that ravaged Southern California last week, state detectives said Tuesday night.
The child admitted to playing with matches Oct. 21 and accidentally starting the Buckweed Fire, Los Angeles County sheriffs said. Officials have released the boy to his parents.
Link to MSM & MSNBC Story That Just Does Not Get It
For the REAL story - see below the line.
His name was Omar. Probably. The article doesn't say, but we know it was that, or Mohammed maybe, or Abdul - or maybe Abdul Mohammed Omar (AMO). The NSA has a series of intercepted Omar communiciations that have led to his capture. Well, that and the fact that he turned himself in.
Apparently the NSA tapes have not yet been translated into "American" by the monitors. An anonymous source confirms that the NSA has been struggling with complex language issues presented by this "American" dialect since the recent discovery of a mysterious "warrant clause" and an even more baffling "probable cause" reference in an ancient intercept called the "Constitution." Luckily, these references appear to have been abandoned over the last half decade, but the NSA has vowed to remain ever vigilant against their resurrection.
Also under investigation for its suspected role in aiding terrorism is The Holy Match, an inflammatory organization known to desseminate very small weapons of match destruction.
While AMO has been temporarily released to his parents, the President is reviewing offers to disappear AMO from the CIA, several Special Ops forces, the Republican WannaBeNinjas Caucus, a consortium of Blackwater alumni in hiding from police in various countries and a group of Dept. of Justice lawyers who have gotten tired of only writing the rules and want to get some water on their hands.
Meanwhile, the FBI has been breaking into homes of known associates of AMO, including many who are reported to have listened to seditious rhetoric during a ritual known as "recess." Under a Patriot Act process known as "Hide N Go Sneak N Peek" the FBI is also using National Paternity Letters to take custody of the children who "look funny."
Facebook is cooperating by reviewing its files for "funny looking" kids and with this cooperation, numerous funny looking faces have been successfully disappeared. Monitoring systems have been set up nationwide to try to clamp down on radical playgrounds throughout the country where other so-called "children" have been reportedly taking oaths of loyalty involving blood offerings from fingers pierced by metal.
Senator Mitch McConnell held a press conference late last night to decry the rise in recess terrorists and has called on Senate Democrats to pass a resolution denouncing recess. Sen. McConnell also pointed to the rampant growth in playground facilities during the Clinton administration and the failure of that administration to take out known radical playgrounds. He noted that, if only Clinton had set up perimeters around McDonalds' playgrounds throughout the nation, much of the childthreat could have been contained.
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid immediately issued a statement indicating his support for the resolution denouncing recess and Recesso-fascists. Reid also called on McConnell to please take over the job of leading the Senate, with the current Majority Leader noting that he is far too incompetent to tie his own shoes, much less sustain himself in a state of active cognition. Reid reminisced about how nice it had been to just go along with everything the Republicans did, rather than having to think up what the Republicans might want to do and then do it for them.
Paraphrasing a personal idol, Reid said of his position as Senate Leader, "It's hard work." He then wandered away, mumbling something about needing more resolutions to keep teachings our childrens.
UPDATE: Drudge, Malkin, Limbaugh, Beck and Gibson are all reporting that they have received information from an anonymous former member of the Administration who maintains close contacts, that there is proof the recesso-fascists have been planning an economic assault on the Homeland. Said Limbaugh, "I just put it together - recesso-fascists, recessions, it all makes cents now, doesn't it?"
In unrelated news, an aide to Ben Bernanke was admitted to the hospital for treatment to a head wound, caused by excessive scratching. Alan Greenspan reportedly sent flowers, with the cryptic message: "I thought they would know it was a joke!"