Except it's not actually Easter, or so you think, naive Kossack. But fret not. It's not your fault. You've been lied to by The Man, you grubby little America-hating traitor. But now I have come to tell you (drum roll)
The TRUTH!
(Don't believe me? Look at my UID, people! It's PROOF! Which nearly rhymes with TRUTH! Honestly, what more do you need?)
Follow me over the fold for a heartwarming tale of fibs something or other.
And Bunny did go into the Holy City, and encountered many people there, and they did say unto Him:
"Hooray! Dinner!"
And Bunny did reply:
"Shut it, fatty. I have come unto you to save mankind. By pooing everywhere."
And they did so reply:
"Fucking hell, a talking rabbit! Er, I mean, how does that work, then?"
And Bunny did say:
"Beats me. I'm a bunny. That's pretty much the extent of my skills."
And they did go to Bunny and humbly beg of Him:
"Look, it's 2000 years ago and we're all dead poor. Bob over there's been eating sand for the past three weeks. Give us one reason we shouldn't make you into a pie."
And Bunny did stand proudly and declaim:
"No, fuck off, you bloody butchers! I'm only a little bunny! Why not eat the chocolate eggs instead?"
And they did notice the choccy eggs that some guy called Jesus had placed therein, and there was much indigestion rejoicing.
Happy Easter, one and all :)