Al Gore the other day received the Nobel prize for "peace" – but now Vice President Gore’s commitment to peace is being questioned. The non-partisan "Center for examination of whether anybody ever got hit by Al Gore" has just released an account of how Gore not only hit, but pushed down a member of a distinguished Tennessee family who disagreed with him. The non-partisan "Center for examination of whether anybody ever got hit by Al Gore", a very well known organization that opened its doors the day before yesterday – but they were very nice doors and they had been opened and closed many times before – produced grade school records showing that Gore had indeed been sent to the principal’s office for hitting Chick Chum, the scion of an important Tennessee family. The non-partisan "Center for examination of whether anybody ever got hit by Al Gore" did not say they had anything against individuals who hit, but that it might be considered hypocritical for Gore to be involved in this type of hostile aggression and still accept the Nobel prize for peace.
Yesterday on the Situation Room there was this exchange between Wolf Blitzer and Carol Costello
Wolf: So tell me Carol, did the ex Vice President actually hit somebody.
Carol: Yes they did Wolf. This document, obtained under the freedom of elementary school information act by the non-partisans "Center for examination of whether anybody ever got hit by Al Gore" shows that Gore was indeed called to the principals office, and that he was talked to by the principal for hitting one Chick Chum.
Wolf: This seems like it would be really damaging to the Vice President’s reputation. Is there any word on whether he will give back the Nobel prize for peace, because otherwise he will give others all this ammunition to call him a hypocrite because of this documentation provided by the non-partisan "Center for examination of whether anybody ever got hit by Al Gore."
Carol: Well this is certainly embarrassing for the Gore camp, there’s no doubt about that. One has to wonder what will happen when he accepts an award with peace in the title and then this information about his overt hostile aggression comes out. There is even some whispering that he invented the internet to cover up this story.
Wolf: Oh, that sounds very damaging for Gore. How did he do that?
Carol: Well, this is just a rumor, but it comes from the non-partisan "Center for examination of whether anybody ever got hit by Al Gore" so we are following it very closely.
Wolf: So there you have it, a very damaging set of circumstances for Al Gore. We’ll see how he survives this.
Also on NPR, this interview with Nobel prize for peace expert Jonah Goldberg (he once went out with a woman named Vivian Nobel and he won a prize for spelling in fourth grade.)
Commentator: So do you think Al Gore’s accepting the peace prize after this revelation from the non-partisan "Center for examination of whether anybody ever got hit by Al Gore" about Chick Chum tars all Democrats with the hypocrisy brush everywhere and forever.
Jonah: Well close to it – not Lieberman of course, because he’s one of the good ones - but all the other democrats, certainly. This puts the democrats in a really difficult situation, because if he accepts the peace prize he definitely is a hypocrite. I think it is very embarrassing and oh so damaging. At the same time, if he doesn’t accept the peace prize he is in a box of his own making, which he made because he is not a peaceful man. As Lynn Cheney might say, he is not a good man. So democrats must disavow Gore completely based on the information put out by the non-partisan "Center for examination of whether anybody ever got hit by Al Gore", but even if they do it doesn’t matter because they already ran him as a presidential candidate. America hates a hypocrite and of course that is what he is because he is not peaceful at all, and therefore you have to wonder why he didn’t take his name out of consideration at all. And you also have to wonder about the entire Nobel prize committee. Take for example the fact that I have never been nominated for a Nobel prize even though I have never been near the victim, Chick Chum. I think the whole thing just blows up in Gore and the democrats faces. Thanks God hypocrisy is not a word known by Republicans.