This morning it was announced that Barney has withdrawn his support for the Iraq War from George W. Bush. In 2005, when pressure for ending the war was building, Bush made this declaration (as told by Bob Woodward in a 60 minutes interview):
"Late last year he had key Republicans up to the White House to talk about the war. And said, 'I will not withdraw even if Laura and Barney are the only ones supporting me.' Barney is his dog," Woodward says. "My work on this leads to lots of people who spend hours, days with the president."
When Barney was asked why he was withdrawing his support...
the perky black scottish terrier growled at the press corp, (he is a dog for pitty sake!)
Helen Thomas, the first lady of the press, asked the First Lady of the White House,
"How do you know that Barney has withdrawn his support?"
At which Barney started squirming and whining in Laura Bush's arms.
As she struggled with the increasing agitated canine, she answered,
"It's somewhat indelicate. Barney has been using his bodily functions to express his displeasure."
"But how do you know it's the war he's displeased with?" Helen inquired.
Mrs. Bush cleared her throat:
"Well the first clue was everytime George talked about the War in Barney's presence, he would growl a little."
"Please clarify, Mrs. Bush, did Barney or George growl?"
"Why, George of course! He was attempting to confer with Barney using Canine Communication."
Helen was silent.
"Well, Barney startd to growl back at him. Everytime he heard George speak, about war initially." Laura continued, "But soon he was growling when heard the words Iraq, or surge, or bonker buster. Lately, he's been growling when he hears the word Iran!"
Even as Mrs. Bush spoke. Barney struggled, growled, and barked, each time she spoke the words of War.
"Don't you mean Bunker Buster, Mrs. Bush?" Helen suggested.
"Oh yes that's it, Bunker Busters." Barney then became nearly impossible to hold.
"George, Come help me! This is your dog!" Mrs. Bush hollered.
President Bush came in and took Barney from Mrs. Bush, with an irritated look on his face. "Are you going to abandon me too, Laura? Can't we keep anything private? Why are you telling the PRESS about Barney's dislike of the word War?"
When war came out of Bush's mouth, Barney let go a stream of warm yellow piss. He was barking so loud, Mrs. Bush tried to cover Barney's snout.