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FIRED UP AND FALLING DOWN: String of Crowd Fainting Incidents Hits Obama Rallies...
Just back from tonight’s Obama rally in Gobstop, Wisconsin, where 500,000 of the faithful gathered to chant "Yes We Can" in an extremely non-cultish manner.
I fainted three times, and was paid $125 for each faint. The third faint will earn a $50 bonus because I was close enough to the stage that Barack stopped his speech and narrated my faint until the EMTs got me to "wake up" again.
Would you like to be an Obama fainter? Young women are preferred because it increases the "Beatlemania" feeling in the hall and allows the candidate to show maximum caringness and hopeitude during the Revival Period. But there is room for all in the Fainting Tent: young men like myself are just as welcome! Who says Obama is sexist?
Sexy, sure. Sexist? Never. Even though, periodically, he gets to feeling a little up, and thinks some fainting adds to his appeal.
To join the Obama Fainting Club, send a contribution to the campaign and specify SNARK in the tagline.