Late night/early morning long, long ago (yesterday) some incredibly sleep deprived people went to a place called the Intertubes, entered some random words (President McCain and President Obama) into some marvel of the modern world (online anagram maker) and came up with a series of phrases.
But one man, a name-scrambling champion of all who sacrifice sleep to write insanity and blather for the greater good of Americans everywhere, dared go the extra mile. That man, our hero, bad dad brought us some lexiconic gems.
Into this mysterious word generating miracle, bad dad entered the words "President Barack Obama" and got the following list:
Absorb Pandemic Karate
Sobbed Earmark Captain
Earn Backboard Pastime
Bombard Pancake Satire
Panoramic Bread Basket
Amber Paranoid Setback
Rampant Codebreak Bias
Pink Crabmeat Seaboard
Insomniac Kossacks, here's the challenge, formulate the best "news" story using the above phrases (channel your best memories of Faux News and Conservative News Network) of the President Barack Obama vs. Wrinkly Old White Haired Dude campaign saga.
With h/t to Allogenes, here's a joint post election release:
On the eve of the inaugural ball 2009 and following a dramatic Amber Paranoid Setback, "Our party is now in crisis mode," Sobbed Earmark Captain John McCain.
"We wanted Russia to do big things in Georgia to assure my victory, but all we got was a stupid Bombard Pancake Satire and a lousy Panoramic Bread Basket from Sakashvili."
Allogenes continues:
[Due to] Rampant Codebreak Bias in the media, if the Russkies advance on the Pink Crabmeat Seaboard, it could mean World War III!
We seem to have missed "Absorb Pandemic Karate" which was actually censored from use by McCain Campaign Spokesman Tucker Bounds, who citing a second secret list only recently revealed by Kossack sagesource said, "The McCain campaign cannot and will not endorse any story not referring to sagesource's shorter phrase 'Dreamboat Penis' that was derived from the shorter and considerably less risky President Obama."
Have fun making up your own story from bad dad's list and try to use each one. For bonus points throw in sagesource's shorter one courtesy of Monsieur Bounds.
Good luck and bon chance!