If and when Karl Rove lets Sarah Palin conduct a press conference, it might go something like this. Please join me below:
MSM: What is your experience with foreign policy?
SP: I can almost see the Kremlin from the governor’s mansion. John told me the Pakinstan and Irag shared a border. That Lieberman guys is jewish so I'll ask him about that.
MSM: Why are you now speaking to reporters?
SP: Well, my "pimps," I mean, advisers Karl and John want me doing 30 fundraisers instead.
MSM: Who is Prime Minister Putin?
SP: Isn't he the minister who interviewed John at the Saddleback Steak House?
MSM: Do you keep up with national and international events?
SP: Why would I do that. I have a big state to run. You know Todd thinks Alaska should be a country.
MSM: Why are you running for VP?
SP: I thought it would look good on my resume.
MSM: What is your position on the conflict between Russia and Georgia.
SP: I don't think it's fair for a country to pick on one of the lower 48.
MSM: If elected, what will you do on the first day?
SP: Put a desk in the oval office because I don’t want to work in that old gray building.
MSM: You actually fire people who don't agree with you? And...what's wrong with that?
MSM: What do you know about Washington DC?
SP: I know that it’s a part of the lower 48. We go on vacation in Seattle some times.
MSM: If elected, how will you care for your children?
SP: My mom will take care of them like she does now.
MSM: Did you sell the government jet on eBay?
SP: No, but it sounded good because low information voters will believe anything we say over Obama.
MSM: Do you like Karl Rove?
SP: I wish I had him to help me get out of testifying when I abuse my power. OMG, he already is helping me get out of testifying.
MSM: Do you like Sean Hannity?
SP: He’s great. Every time you guys tell the truth about me, he tells lies about Obama. That works really well.
MSM: Don't you think that it's hypocritical to say you told Congress No Thanks to the bridge to nowhere when you supported it and took the money for it?
SP: No, Karl says that's how you do things in the lower 48. He says low information voters don't care about facts.
MSM: Why did you mock community organizers?
SP: Karl said it sounded good.
MSM: Will you have to buy a new wardrobe?
SP: You betcha! Cindy McCain wares a $300,000 outfit. If we win, I can't have her dress better than me. I play second fiddle to no one.
MSM: John McCain finished 5th from the bottom of his class at the Naval Academy. You went to 5 different colleges in 6 years. What does that say about your ability to handle the critical thinking that is required to be VP and president?
SP: Well, Obama went to two colleges and no body is complaining about that. I figured that I would look smart in case I wanted to run for governor.
MSM: Do you know what the VP does?
SP: No, I just hope it’s a bigger job than being governor. I haven’t seen the job description to know for sure.
MSM: You know the VP is also the president of the Senate. How will you get the senators to cooperate with you?
SP: Oh, I get to be a president afterall I really don't want to be a number 2 to anybody. I will tell those senators that I will fire them if they don’t agree with me just like I do in Alaska.
MSM: Why do you think John McCain picked you?
SP: Look at me. Look at him. Look at his crowds. Look at the polls. Kinda obvious don't you think?
MSM: You were once supportive of Obama’s energy policy. Do you still think he has the best energy policy?
SP: Shhhhhhhhhhhh. Don’t tell John. I really support Obama. He’s cool. We don’t have a lot of African Americans in Alaska. We have a lot of Artic Arabs though.
MSM: You are drawing big crowds. Will you ever campaign alone?
SP: Why would I do that? John needs me to help him look good. Without me, John is boring. He also gets to look at my butt when I speak. So it’s good for both of us; I get to get my name out there and he gets to have a crowd to talk to. Besides Karl can't be in two places to tell us what to say.
MSM: Last question, what do you say to all of the democrats who voted for Hillary Clinton?
SP: First, I'm glad it's the last questions. I really haven't study my notes yet. I hope I did ok. I would tell the Clinton voters to vote for Obama. We really don't need all of those women cause I am the queen bee.