Republicans Bail Out Of Campaign Due To Subprime Candidate Crisis
By Guancous Armore
Heartless and Brainless Staff Writer
Thursday, September 25, 2008; 8:43 PM
Full story below the fold...
Republicans Bail Out Of Campaign Due To Subprime Candidate Crisis
By Guancous Armore
Heartless and Brainless Staff Writer
Thursday, September 25, 2008; 8:43 PM
Top Republican leaders countered the growing fiscal meltdown by halting their campaigns. Presidential nominee John McCain, Vice-Presidential selection Sarah Palin and multiple congressional Republicans vowed not to run ads or publicly seek funds.
The late-afternoon gathering came hours after House and Senate Republicans emerged from a closed-door meeting and said they had reached an accord on basic principles governing a plan that they hoped to pass soon but that was running into stiff resistance from some fellow congressional Republicans.
In opening the White House meeting, Bush expressed hope that an agreement on the overall plan could be reached "very shortly."
"We are in a serious economic crisis by our doing," Bush said. "The least we could do is give the American public a breather. We need to get out of their grill. They'll be busy purchasing shotgun shells and canned beans soon enough," Bush said. "There are still elections left to win. Republicans have no hope on November 4th if we're constantly reminding voters of our positions."
The top Republican on the Senate Banking Committee, Sen. Richard C. Shelby (Ala.), who strongly opposes his constituency, told reporters, "I don't believe we have an agreement. The American people should shut up and sit down. The American people should control their tax dollars unless it won't go into our pockets." He said he voiced his concerns in the meeting, calling attention to a letter from leading economists calling shenanigans. The bailout plan "will create more commercial space for networks to air. American vehicle, appliance and apparel companies no longer have the marketing budgets to afford television prices." Economists recommend lifting all bans on advertising hard liquor. The alcohol industry is the only American sector that skyrocketed in the last two weeks. This comes hours after the People's Bank of China purchased a majority stake in Nike. They dropped LeBron James as their main spokesman in favor of Liu Xiang.
"I brought it up in the hearing," Shelby said. "I'm probably not welcome again. It's a good thing my schedule is open."
Sens. McCain (Ariz.) and Obama (Ill.) left the White House after the meeting without speaking to reporters.
Interviewed later on CNN, Obama said, "David Axelrod told me that McCain was suspending his campaign and might not attend the debate. I assumed he was joking because we were both laughing so hard. It makes no sense! It's not like McCain is on the Banking Committee or anything. What's he going to say? 'Uh, print more money.' Get out of here. I'm just happy I can spend more time with Malia and Sasha."
Obama said that "something happened in the intervening hours" between the Capitol and White House meetings. He said Bush, Treasury Secretary Henry M. Paulson Jr. and congressional Republicans figured out that there was no way "to make this thing work." Obama cautioned that "when you start injecting presidential politics into an imploding party, then you can actually create more problems rather than less."
A visibly irritated Sen. Christopher J. Dodd (D-Conn.), chairman of the Senate Banking Committee, summarized the impasse in more pointed terms. He told CNN that the meeting was thrown off when Republicans brought up "some new core agreement" that supposedly had been floated by McCain and was being considered by the House of Representatives.
"What this looked like to me was a rescue plan for John McCain," Dodd fumed. "This is a sad day for the country." He said he still hopes that a deal can be struck but that the Republicans "need to get their act together and decide what they're for. I already filmed campaign ads about their trillion dollar [expletive]. It's already in the can. Now I have to drive all the way out to Georgetown to perform another voice-over. $700,000,000,000 doesn't roll off the tongue as well."
Rep. Steny Hoyer (D-Md.), the House majority leader, said that "there was not full agreement" in the meeting and cited resistance from Joseph Lieberman (I-CT.), a former Democrat trying to re-enter the party. "Some Democrats wanted a full media blitz to step on their throats. Others wanted to spend the next month with their families and constituents."
White House counsel Ed Gillespie, another participant in the meeting, said it was not surprising that there were "different points of view," but he said everyone understands "that there is no way in Satan's volcanic hell that the Republicans can pick up seats in any federal chamber of government."
Dodd told reporters after the three-hour Capitol meeting, "We've reached fundamental agreement on a set of principles" to guide the Republicans to the airport. He said Congress could pass a bill within days. He said the principles include protection for indicted felons, effective oversight of legal bills, and help for Republicans evicted from their office.
Barney Frank (D-MA.) said lawmakers "are responding, I think, to the central thrust" of the 248 member bailout agreement "but adding collectively a number of things that will make people legitimately feel better about the overall vote." Noting that some lawmakers have been invited to a meeting at the White House today "because Laura is not around," Frank said, "I'm glad that we'll be able to go and tell them that we'll have a hell of a time cleaning up their mess. I'm sure we'll roll up our sleeves and solve America's problems for the next 20 years or so. Then the Republicans will strike back and tell voters that it stinks to pay for the goods and services you use. But I'm always glad to get to go to the White House. Karl Rove has been trying to introduce me to his friend Jeff Gannon for years."