I've diaried this before, but it's funny and informative enough for a repeat, IMHO.
A few years ago, LiveJournal's Camwyn wrote a brilliant summary of Tolkien's The Silmarillion using only 1,000 words. Some months later, a Canadian friend of hers inspired her to explain the U.S. Presidential Election in 500 words.
THE ELECTION OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, IN FIVE HUNDRED WORDS
CANDIDATES: Hi!
VOTERS: Hi!
CANDIDATES: Where do you live?
VOTERS: Nebraska?
CANDIDATES: Eh. How about you guys?
SOME VOTERS: New York!
OTHER VOTERS: California!
STILL OTHER VOTERS: Iowa!
CANDIDATES: Okay, cool. Let's boogie.
NEBRASKA VOTERS, ALONG WITH A LOT OF OTHERS: Buh?
CANDIDATES: You don't have the electoral votes. Sorry.
NEBRASKA AND COMPANY: Augh!
CANDIDATES: Next census, maybe.
NEBRASKA AND COMPANY: Fine, whatever. votes
EVERYONE ELSE: also votes
BOARDS: Okay, who won?
VOTERS: Dunno, you tell us.
BOARDS: count votes
VOTERS: So who's president?
BOARDS: No one yet.
VOTERS: But- but-
ELECTORS: Hi! We're your representatives.
VOTERS: To WHAT?
ELECTORS: The Electoral College.
VOTERS: Buh?
ELECTORS: It's in the Constitution. Article Two, Section One.
VOTERS: . . .
BOARDS: Here's the results. Promise you'll do what the voters in your state want?
ELECTORS: Sure.
BOARDS: Great. Can you guys chill until the first Monday after the second Wednesday in December?
ELECTORS: No problemo.
VOTERS: WTF? What's going on?
AMERICAN HISTORY TEACHERS (THE ONES YOU NEVER LISTENED TO): Look, back when they wrote the Constitution, communication wasn't very reliable. So the men who wrote it said that after the elections, everybody would wait until electors from all the states could get together and have their votes counted at one go.
VOTERS: But, but, the number of electors per state is why?
TEACHERS: As many electors as your state has Senators and Representatives. So if you've got a lot of people, you get a lot of Representatives, and you get a lot of electors. And if you don't have a lot of people-
NEBRASKA AND COMPANY: You're probably us.
VOTERS: But why do we use electors at ALL?
TEACHERS: A lot of the Founding Fathers didn't trust the general populace. They wanted people to vote for electors with sense, so that only people with sense would select the president.
VOTERS: So-
TEACHERS: The Founding Fathers would think you were dangerous rabble.
VOTERS: . . .
TEACHERS: You can change it, you know. You just have to get a Constitutional amendment passed.
VOTERS: Augh!
ELECTORS: check calendar December!
VOTERS: You're gonna vote the way we said, RIGHT?
ELECTORS: Yeah.
VOTERS: Good, because we'd hate to have to show you what happens to, ah. . . 'faithless' electors. crack knuckles
ELECTORS: You don't have the slightest idea, do you?
VOTERS: . . . no.
ELECTORS: vote
PRESIDENT OF THE SENATE: counts votes
ENTIRE UNITED STATES SENATE: witnesses count
ENTIRE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES: also witnesses count
PRESIDENT OF THE SENATE: We have a winnah!
VOTERS: They announced that back in November!
PRESIDENT OF THE SENATE: Yes, but now it's official! Yay!
THE WINNAH: Is it January 20th yet?
DISGRUNTLED SUPER BOWL FANS: Yes, dammit.
THE WINNAH: Cool. I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.
WASHINGTON, DC: throws party
NEBRASKA AND COMPANY: write to Congressional representatives