I was born at the tail end of 1970. I started following politics when I was 13, in 1984. Right from the start, as I watched the news, I knew in my heart that I did not like what I saw in Ronald Reagan or other Republicans. I can't put my finger on exact things all these years later, but I quickly saw that Democrats were about enabling all Americans, not by coddling them, but by protecting them and helping all by accomplishing what no one person, or even one corporation or industry, could do alone. The Republicans, on the other hand, seemed to back greed as the highest good; that somehow wanting and taking as much as you could would make you a good person, and then you would somehow share the goodness with those around you. It seemed like a dubious premise at best, and an outright misanthropic one at worst.
Growing up in Minnesota, I cheered Walter Mondale on. We all know how that went.
After 4 more years of Reagan, my cynicism in national government grew. I missed voting in 1988 by a few weeks, which is kind of a mixed blessing in that I could watch Dukakis' campaign implode without actually having to take part in it.
Four years of Bush 41 did nothing to ease my cynicism. In fact, by the time 1992 came around, I only voted for state and local offices. I did not vote for Bill Clinton. Oh sure, he could blow the sax on Arsenio, but he was way too centrist for my fevered, twenty-something brain. The same was true in 1996. Hell, he didn't need me, Dole was whipped before a vote was cast, and so I sat it out. (I still voted, I always vote for local stuff.)
Then 2000 rolled around. Now I had been living in Wisconsin for a few years, and it looked like we'd go for Gore. And so I let my cynicism and petulance get the better of me. These Democrats were not progressive enough! What was the difference between these parties? Oh sure, I knew there was a world of difference between the men Al Gore and George W. Bush, but what was the difference between what they represented? When people feel like they have something important to say but are not being heard, they can do silly things. In cases like that, my 5 year old daughter whines. In my case, I voted for Nader.
As a final self-justification, I said, "Fine! Let Bush win. Then the country will finally see how wrong and morally bankrupt the Republican party really is! They've been fooled since 1980, let them get what they deserve." Oh boy. Talk about watching out for what you wish!
In 2004, now in my 30s, I was acutely aware of how things work. Most of my idealism was, I thought, wiped off, gone. It was really just badly smudged. I saw hope in Howard Dean and John Edwards. And when John Kerry won the nomination, I wasn't exactly ecstatic, but I knew he would not be a bad choice, and I also knew we had to get away from Bush and the neocons.
Even though that turned out to be another heart breaker, I wasn't crushed. My cynicism, while still intact, did not grow. I found Daily Kos in 2005 and decided to hang out (mostly as a lurker). I watched as Dems built a truly 50 state party and picked up seats in 2006. And in 2007 through today, I watched the most amazing ascendancy of a party and a candidate in my short lifetime.
But my cynicism was not dead yet. It lay in the pit of my stomach; smaller, yes, weaker, for sure, but still there, like a slumbering snake, waiting to strike my heart yet once again. It lay there Monday. Yesterday, it knew something was wrong. The hopes of my heart and my mind were waking up and beginning to shine... for real! The idealism of my youth was there, before me, on the TV, on the computer, in my beautiful wife's eyes! It was real!
You cannot take the rennet out of cheese and uncurdle it back into milk. Once the two mix, they are forever changed. But the human spirit is far more subtle and beautiful than a cheese. (And I say that as an adopted Sconnie!) You can take the cynicism out of your heart, you can uncurdle your soul. And that's what happened to me a few minutes after 10:00pm last night. As my eyes filled with tears, I felt that snake slither away to go bother someone else.
This morning, as I biked by beautiful Lake Monona here in Madison as I normally do on my way to work, I paused. The sun was just peaking over the horizon. I watched it rise and thought about all that this election means. To the country, it means needed change, and a great step towards the real equality that true patriots crave. To my wonderful primary school aged kids, it is the ultimate object lesson in how intelligence and hard work can take you anywhere you want to go. They may miss the racial component of this election, but I think that is a good thing. Their neighborhood friends and the kids at their school are the future of America, and the future is white, black, brown, yellow, red, mocha, latte, dark chocolate and cream.
But to me, the meaning is clear. Cynicism has held me back. It has weighed on my mind, my heart, my limbs. It has made me complacent, lazy, judgmental. It has kept me from being a true member of my society.
No more! This is the beginning, not the end. This nation faces several challenges, serious problems, most notably with the economy, energy and climate change. But now, without cynicism, our problems don't look impossible to me. Suddenly the work looks like an invigorating challenge, a mountain to climb; not a bleak, crushing weight that we cannot overcome.
There is much work to be done. And now, at long last, two dozen years after I started paying attention, I'm ready. I'm ready. I hope you are too.
Let's do this thing.
Yes! We! Can!