I am deeply, deeply disappointed with Barack Obama. First I find out he's black. Black! Next, a person familiar with blackness tells me he's not Black enough! Then, he tries to denounce and/or reject his TRUE heritage: he's not black, or, what-do-you call-it, African-American. Nooo.
He's really ARAB-African-American! What are you ashamed of, Barack H.? And what does a name like Barack mean, anyway!?
Since this is a serious matter, I did some research on The Google. Yeah, what is in a name? More than you know, my friends, more than you know...
Meow sounds an awful lot like Mao. Google says he was a bad dude. I'm done with cats.
Duncan Hines. Same last name as a socialist pinko loony who liked to take pictures of sweaty men and barely clad little boys and girls. Coincidence? Nah, that's what they want you to think. Duncan added an "s" to hide his shame about Lewis, the Freak!, who may or may not be Duncan's brother.
Stalin, Joseph. Evil, evil, evil. From here on in, it's "Jesus, Mary and [that guy, Mary's husband, had a donkey, Jesus' step-dad, you know???]"
Poland. Starts with "Pol", Pol goes with Pot. And Pot turns you into a Dirty Hippie. Or makes you a bloodthirsty dictator. Everybody knows both hate America--and our freedom!
Two All-Beef Patties Special Sauce Lettuce Cheese Pickles Onion on a Sesame Seed Bun. SESAME! As in "open sesame." As in Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves (of Arabic descent, mind you, oh so conveniently missing from the title.)
Perk up your ears! I urge all Kossacks to expose the Manchurians amongst us, root out the demon seeds, sesame, socialist, fascist or pervert; they're hiding in plain sight!
As for me, once this six-pack is gone, I'm boycotting Coors. Any company founded by a guy named Adolph is up to no good.