I sit on the sidelines in politics. Not in my views, not in how I discuss politics with my friends and family: I'm a vocal commentator of our political times when I'm with those who value my opinion, and sometimes even with those who don't. I haven't posted a DKos diary in many, many months, greatly because I felt I had little new to offer the site that wasn't already better said by more critical thinkers, more prosaic authors. I'm a registered unaffiliated voter in NC who is very liberal on both social and international issues, but who has long been disgusted by the sly, wink-wink politics of the old-school Dems. I'll vote for them, but I don't have to like that they fall short of many of the ideals I hold dear.
No, I rail from the sidelines to my friends, my family, about the injustices, dirty practices, and radical unfairness, often driven by diaries I've read here, often supported by the endless and tireless fact checking and typically reasoned, passionate debates herein. I write LTEs, I contact my elected officials, I do the small things on the backend that you never see, and frankly, you never will. Until today, however, I had never given one cent to any politician. Ever.
I've long maintained that I can best support the ideals I believe in, not by financing the coffee booth at a fundraiser, not by paying an hour of some consultant's time, but by remaining a strong critic of process and participant. Not by funding their ultimate political calculations, their concessions, their compromises, but by pointing out how short the process and participant have come in delivering the very promises we rely on to hand power to those who seek it. By showcasing how the progressive candidate gets us closer to our goals than the conservative one. By calling out hypocricy, injustice, dangerous priorities, and disasterous policies. But not by handing anyone a check.
Not that political calculations, concessions, compromises are not important to our democracy, they very much are so, but it has long been my belief that we must continue to find the gap between what we accept as the reality of now and what we believe the reality of tomorrow should look like. I always felt that a crucial part of my own independence, my own unaffiliated, relatively unbiased ability to weight many sides, even when the popular wisdom of this site (and others) often discouraged thoughtful consideration of some reasonable views. (One side note I'd insert here: Dkos is by far the most rational, most reasonable site for discussion of politics bar none. It is far from perfect, as the critic in me could spend days decrying, but it has allowed an amazing volume of cream to rise to the top of one very large vat).
I'm much better at critiquing the faults of those trying to take and hold power than I am and attempting to do so myself, than I am by becoming vested in any one candidate, by any one platform. I've had people call that weak, call that an excuse. I'd disagree, but regardless, that's my choice to make. I tend to feel protected from my hopes (yeah, that word again), from my fears of disappointment. Given how things went in 2000, 2004, I feel both justified and saddened by that reality. Call that a copout. Call that weak. Whatever, it doesn't really matter. I'm just being honest, and being a rather stubborn and straightforward guy, I'm not likely to care anyway.
By 'sit on the sidelines' above I really mean in terms of my bottom line.
My bank account.
The almighty fricken dollar.
I've never had a horse in any race who had taken one cent from me. Despite almost pulling the trigger on more than one occassion, I'm not one to donate money to any politician, even when things look rosy, even when 'our candidate' needed the cash. Even when this one was the right one. Not one cent.
I've often compared donating to a politician to overpaying for a used car: despite the clean coat of wax and new floormats, it didn't really look that great to begin with, and when you get it home, it was even worse than you hoped. The frustration of paying someone to disappoint you is something I've avoided for many years, despite volunteering time and effort for earlier politicians.
I've been overly impressed by Obama's campaign to date, but for all the reasons described above, was unwilling to send him a donation. The campaign's responses to HRC's sink, to race-baiting, to a general problem of 'who the hell is barack obama and what's with his middle name?' have been stunning, unexpected, well-reasoned, but until today, they got $0 from my pocket. I still couldn't finance my own disappointment.
This team of people surrounding Barack are professional politicians. Not in the Clinton mode of professional, no I mean in the Al Gore post-2000 professional. They 'get it'. They understand the difference between pandering and leading, between lecturing and teaching. They respond not by whining about being a victim, but instead by accepting the criticism and teaching us why the context and history of the issue matter, not just to Barack, but to everyone.
A More Perfect Union was the speech I had secretely hoped a politician would give in my lifetime. It was the rare combination of humble vulnerability and unapologetic honesty. We never see this in politics. Never. I could count on one hand the number of speeches that gave me goosebumps. I've watched this one 3 times from start to finish already, and each time I find myself believing that maybe, just maybe Presidential politics can finally be about facing the harsh realities, the honest but fundamentally different histories from which we as a nation must somehow maintain a solid foundation.
This morning I donated $50 to Barack Obama.
When Barack spoke about context, about cherry-picking quotes, about his connections to a community that isn't just the black to my white, the radical to my civilized, I finally heard a politician talk about how strikingly similar we all are. Not just in some meta, pandering teleprompter-driven lecture, but in a frank, brutal, genuine, and at times, almost melancholic manner. Despite the obvious political risks involved, Barack found it more important to educate the people of this nation about these harsh realities. He was willing to put his own pursuit of power on hold for 40 minutes in a deeply honest moment of clarity that the US has sorely needed for decades.
After watching the speech live, I found myself energized. I told my buddy Jay that I would knock on doors for this guy. I'll make calls. I'll GOTV to give this guy a chance to deliver on even just a few of his bulletpoints. He rose above that yesterday, he stood up, opened his heart, and proceeded to offer his own very personal story as a starting point on how to finally heal some very old, long festering wounds. My god, have I wanted this speech for so long.
Today, I gave Barack Obama $50, the first time I have ever given politician any money, because, despite my very best efforts, my most reasonable excuses, my unapologetic cyncism towards politicians, his speech on Tuesday was what I'd always secretly hoped to hear, but never in my wildest dreams believed would happen in my lifetime.