DISCLAIMER: Most of this interview is fictional. It could never happen like this.
As we all know, in an interview with ABC's Martha Raddatz, Vice President Cheney brandished his usual contempt for public opinion:
CHENEY: On the security front, I think there’s a general consensus that we’ve made major progress, that the surge has worked. That’s been a major success.
RADDATZ: Two-third of Americans say it’s not worth fighting.
CHENEY: So? [Sneers.]
RADDATZ So? You don’t care what the American people think?
CHENEY: No. I think you cannot be blown off course by the fluctuations in the public opinion polls.
This got me thinking: Suppose the interview had continued along the same lines:
RADDATZ: Actually, sir, the polls aren't fluctuating. The American people turned against the Iraq war years ago.
CHENEY: So? [Sneers.]
RADDATZ: Some might say that a democracy fighting a war that its people don't support is in trouble -- that it has lost its way.
CHENEY: So? [Sneers.]
RADDATZ: That doesn't concern you?
CHENEY: No. Sometimes you have to sacrifice democracy in order to protect it. [Sneers and winks.]
RADDATZ: Historians already speculate that the Bush Administration will be considered a failure and quite possibly the worst in history along with the Buchanan and Harding presidencies.
CHENEY: Historians? Who cares? [Sneers.]
RADDATZ: Historians aside, sir, public disapproval of the Bush Administration is unprecedented.
CHENEY: So? [Sneers.]
RADDATZ: Sir, people consider the failures and incompetence in Iraq, the failures and incompetence in addressing the tragedy of Hurricane Katrina, the mortgage crisis, and the declining economy, and...
CHENEY: Iraq has been, I think, a success by any definition. We're making great progress there. Not only that, Iraq has offered tremendous growth for great American firms like Blackwater and Halliburton. [Sneers.]
RADDATZ: Sir?
CHENEY: And, we've lowered taxes for millions of deserving Americans. [Sneers and winks.]
RADDATZ: Sir, many say that those Americans are not deserving -- that the Republican tax policy is a matter of making the rich richer at the expense of the middle class.
CHENEY: So? This is our due. [Sneers and snarls.]
RADDATZ: Getting back to Halliburton, it's actually not an American company.
CHENEY: Martha?
RADDATZ: Sir?
CHENEY: Go f*** yourself. [Sneers and winks.]