The military has the "DADT" (don't ask, don't tell) policy and state and federal governments have DOMA amendments and laws. Anyway, these have lead to some sad and frustrating inequalities for military heroeswho die in battle and same-sex couples trying to live their lives.
But isn't it getting just a bit absurd (well, as if inequality is ever not absurd) when the Pentagon feels it necessary to not allow the same-sex partner of a House Representative Tammy Baldwin on a flight because well.. she's of the same gender, and "the Pentagon appears to be self-conscious about transporting gay domestic partners at a time when it continues to enforce a "don’t ask, don’t tell" policy in its own ranks." An intersection of both DADT and DOMA inequalities to create an absurdity...
Under House guidelines, members of Congress may take their spouses with them on military flights if there is room for them and when it is "necessary for protocol purposes." Although Baldwin, the only openly gay woman elected to Congress, exchanged wedding vows with Lauren Azar in 1998, her home state of Wisconsin does not officially recognize same-sex marriages, and military officials were apparently unwilling to consider Azar a "spouse" within the meaning of the House guidelines.
It took Nancy Pelosi's intervention to allow it. When even our national legislators are subjected to the humility of inequality, can anyone really doubt that the rest of us are subjected to such inequality on a regular basis? It's time to repeal both DADT and DOMA laws.
I know that my family is subjected to this kind of humiliation and frustration pretty regularly. This years tax season is no exception, as we have to fill out two tax forms, one 'dummy' one filing jointly for the state taxes and one real one for Bush's government, at an additional cost of a few hundred. But it doesn't end there. We have so many more stories, big and little.
So, let me tell you of two:
The first was in 2002. We were living in Germany but had come home to California. I was at home and suddenly had a major headache, pains in my side and they took me to the hospital. I had blood pressure of 220/200 and the doctor admitted me immediately to care.
My mother called my partner. He called the hospital. The would not tell him what was wrong with me nor let him speak to me. This went on through several people and for two hours.
Finally, he told the story to a orderly, who happened to be gay, when he was carrying the phone from one person to another... he snuck the phone into my room and let me talk to my partner.
This even though we had a DP in California and all the necessary documents for health decisions.
The second, is just my military service. Every generation before me served in the military since before the Revolution. I was no different. I joined the National Guard, got called up and served in Desert Storm, got called up for Bosnia and served 10 years active, guard and reserves, honorably. But the entire time I spent hiding everything personal about my life. My bunkmates knew I was gay, my commanding officer knew I was gay, but the fear the Army would find out was palatable.
DOMA and DADT need repealing.
UPDATE: Also earlier diaried here by dadt, doma, tammy baldwin, nancy pelosi, pentagon, gay rights, gay marriage, marriage equality , I searched but did not see it. I wanted to add my personal stories relating to this, so kept this diary up.