"My name is EYZ and I'm a dKos junkie."
This is the point where I imagine the entire virtual dKos community looking at me with understanding smiles and saying: "Hello EYZ".
And so now to my sordid tale...
It started innocently enough. Of course I'd heard about dKos in my travels through cyberspace - how it was such a big thing and how it seemed to have some kind of strange and potent hold on left leaning types. Supposedly, a fair number of mainstream folks and certain well-known media pundits were rumored to be under the influence of dKos too. So sure, I got curious and surfed over to take a look.
That first hit was hardly memorable. I remember thinking that dKos looked kind of bland and nondescript with that orangey layout and the text heavy format. Lots to take in and digest but that was part of the problem. It left me feeling confused and overwhelmed. "This is what everyone's been talking about?" I thought. "What's the big deal?" That time, I left it behind with a simple click of my touchpad. But for days I was left with a lingering curiosity as though I couldn't quite get dKos out of my system.
So I hit it again. This time all that soft orange and those interesting headings seemed more intriguing. I let myself go deeper- exploring the front page, the wide-ranging diaries, the endless comments and finally the dkosopedia. After wandering into the FAQ I felt my mind expand and I reached an understanding of the ways of dKos. I created an account and joined the community.
At first I lurked. That was the safest way to use dKos for a novice like me. Then I ventured on to the next phase - comments. Oh, the rush of posting my first comment! It was so easy, and when I started watching my mojo rise as other users actually recommended my comments - ahhh, heavenly.
That was the gateway, see? Comments. I started becoming obsessed with posting them and then checking back to see if I'd been rec'd. That's when my use of dKos became a habit because the more I got rec'd the more dKos got under my skin. That sounds kind of selfish of me, I guess, but at least I can say that I liked giving mojo as much as I liked getting it.
I wanted to go further - to really push the envelope and do it like the hardcore Kossacks do. It was time to post a diary. I sweated over this. I was terrified to cross that line but I knew deep down that I needed to go to the next level. I picked a topic, wrote a couple of drafts, spell-checked it about fifty times, changed the title about a million times and took a deep breath. My heart raced and I broke into a sweat as I clicked on that "publish diary" button. Then, oh God...there it was. My diary on the "recent diaries" list. It wasn't long before the comments started coming in. Not too many, not as many as I would have liked but there they were, nevertheless. The feeling was overwhelming. I felt lightheaded, floaty, kind of anxious but at the same time I experienced a sense of connecting with others - faceless, disembodied others who could communicate with me across time and space in a vast cyber-community. Incredible. Now I really understood the whole simple beauty of dKos and silently praised the visionary brilliance of elusive Markos - that strange, distant figure who started it all.
Then my second diary showed up on the front page after it was saved from oblivion by a rescue ranger. Did it feel good? The high from that was out of this world. I felt that anything might be possible on dKos. I even dared to dream of one day having that ultimate peak experience - making The Rec List. So I slid deeper and deeper into the orange abyss. There I discovered seasoned Kossacks who have made an art of doing dKos: teacherken- who always makes you come away feeling a little wiser, droogie6655321 the guy you feel you've known your whole life, nyceve - who knows how to activate your compassion, Elise- who pulls no punches, no nonsense Granny Doc and of course JeffLieber - who sends you into a fit of uncontrollable giggles and and somehow gives you the munchies at the same time - to name just a very few.
I even learned how to avoid some of the more obvious pitfalls of using dKos. I try not to feed the trolls who just want to mess with your head and make you paranoid - and I figured out really fast to avoid any I/P discussions. I made that mistake once or twice and ended up not even recognizing myself. Man, I became so edgy and aggressive that I started flaming everyone in sight. No more of that hard stuff for me!
But the problem is that things have started to get out of hand. I hit dKos first thing in the morning and last thing at night. And in between? Well, I'll just say that somehow dKos is always on my mind. I try to stay away and focus on other things throughout the day. But it isn't working. The hold dKos has on me is just too strong. I've started letting things slide - paying bills a little later than I should, putting off returning phone calls, thinking about dKos rather than my marketing strategy for my media projects. I've even started lying to my husband! Just today when he asked me what I was working on so intently I told him I was replying to an long overdue email. But the truth is - I was working on this damn diary!! There I was doing dKos right in front of his eyes and not even admitting it. It's getting that bad.
I'm going to have to cut back, there's no doubt about it, before my addiction to the sweet orange page ruins my work and even my marriage. I thought I'd just put this out there to all of you. Admit my problem so I can try to get a handle on it.
I know you will all understand. You're the only ones that will. After all, you're all users just like me.