It smells like... vegetarian lust.
So I open up the City Pages (on the tubz) and am greeted with the saga of one FBI Special Agent Maureen E. Mazzola; doing her personal, oily best to lubricate the wheels of justice in a manner we were all so fond of - back when Director Hoover danced beneath a silver moon in his frillies and mascara.
What they were looking for, Carroll says, was an informant—someone to show up at "vegan potlucks" throughout the Twin Cities and rub shoulders with RNC protestors, schmoozing his way into their inner circles, then reporting back to the FBI’s Joint Terrorism Task Force, a partnership between multiple federal agencies and state and local law enforcement. The effort’s primary mission, according to the Minneapolis division’s website, is to "investigate terrorist acts carried out by groups or organizations which fall within the definition of terrorist groups as set forth in the current United States Attorney General Guidelines."
Yet here I am in Minneapolis/St. Paul - hoary seeker of truth, wild-eyed radical Democratic voter, crouching in the corner of my metaphorical dotage obviously waiting for no greater pleasure to crown the achievements of my rapidly dwindling life than to overthrow the Republic by hosting a vegan potluck.
And there they are - everywhere in our country - tens of thousands strong, supported by the laws they like while ignoring the ones they don't, creating agents provocateurs by the truckload I'm sure. Our FBI. * sigh * [blows kisses...] If only those amateurs in the Guard had gotten Kent State right, we really wouldn't have all these problems with the Revolutionary Vegan Front, now would we? And we could all be spending our time paying rapt obeisance to the perfection of Special Agent Mazzola, and the charms of her no doubt well-oiled and delightfully slippery front.
Hey all you folks here in the Twin Cities - or those who are planning on attending our little exercise in Republican debauchery come September - let's be careful out there/here. They really are out to get us, and that really ain't paranoia (read something like that in a sig line, somewheres...). Lock your friends down now, and don't make any new ones - especially if you're politically active.
I won't even talk to strangers unless they can log in to their account at DailyKos in my presence, and have a UID under 125k. By the way - y'know, that kind of political cred verification is something we really didn't have, back in the sixties...
But it's OK if you're a Republican or a lush. Those are the folks who've made our country what it is today strong. Did you know the Minnesota State Legislature just passed a law allowing bars to stay open until 4 AM for the RNC, so the attendees could drink their fill and then kill the rest of us on the highways while we were trying to get to work in the morning? Great law. Oh yeah, I'm all about dodging drunk Republicans for the early morning commute...
I will say this though, in fairness - I've spent time on the barricades with Coleen Rowley, and my daughter interviewed her once. If the FBI was filled with people like her, DailyKos would not exist, we'd all be driving electric cars, and our National Guard would've rebuilt New Orleans in three months.
Oh... sorry about the Olive Oyl pun. Hard to resist. ;-)