Ralph Nader on Barack Obama:
"There's only one thing different about Barack Obama when it comes to being a Democratic presidential candidate. He's half African-American," Nader told the paper.
"Whether that will make any difference, I don't know. I haven't heard him have a strong crackdown on economic exploitation in the ghettos. Payday loans, predatory lending, asbestos, lead. What's keeping him from doing that?"
"Is it because he wants to talk white?"
Russ Feingold, talking Jewish as we all know he does, responds:
"Oy vey! Dat vas not a kosher ting to say, vat da man named Nader said. I'm so mushuganuh wit dis Nader dat I may hav to eat a box a Matzoh wit an egg cream. Oy!"
Diane Feinstien, talking woman as she damn well should, defends Obama as well:
"I know, from the bottom of my vagina to the tips of my breasts, that Barack Obama speaks from his heart and being a compassionate, soulful female I know full-well what a heart is.
If I wasn't here, in my kitchen, baking a cake and emotionally and compassionately raising children... I'd go and give Senator Obama a long meaningful hug."
However, John McCain, speaking in the tongue of geezerly, echoed Nadar's sentiments:
"What? Huh? I can't hear you? Who? Barack who? I've never-- Oh, oh. BARACK! Yes, yes. I totally-- What was the question? GET OFF MY LAWN!!"
But Tammy Baldwin and Barney Frank, talking gay as "those people" do, rebuked Nader:
"Naw he di'n't!" Representative Frank cried out in a high pitched girly voice, while simultaneously snapping his fingers in a "Z". "What a BITCH!"
To which Ms. Baldwin simply growled and kicked Mr. Frank with her ill fitting combat boots.
Barack Obama, finally owning up to his skin color as the honorable Mr. Nader suggested, finally broke his silence at the end of the day:
"Shit motherfucker! Why whitey gotta play me like that?"
Oh, and then, speaking in Harvard Educated, Future President, Senator Obama continued:
"Ralph Nader is trying to get attention. I think it's a shame because if you look at his legacy in terms of consumer protections, its an extraordinary one. He's someone . . . whose campaign hasn't gotten any traction. So what better way to get some traction than to make an inflammatory statement like the one that he made? It is what it is."