I've been thinking long and hard about Governor Sarah Palin, and I believe I have an explanation for her odd pregnancy, ethical lapses, and the following:
Eagle Forum Alaska: 2006 Gubernatorial Candidate Questionnaire
11. Are you offended by the phrase "Under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance? Why or why not?
Sarah Palin: Not on your life. If it was good enough for the founding fathers, its good enough for me and I’ll fight in defense of our Pledge of Allegiance.
Follow me after the break, if you dare...
Okay, the explanation is this:
No, no, wait! Hear me out. The narrative goes like this:
March, 2008: Extremely popular Governor Sarah Palin -- well known for her intelligence, education, solid sense, unshakable ethics and Teddy Roosevelt-like image -- is accidentally abducted by The Doctor. (She is, unknown to herself, also one month pregnant at the time).
February, 1954: Sarah and the Doctor stop in Washington, D.C. and pick up another passenger,Rep. Louis C. Rabaut who, at the urging of President Eisenhower had introduced a resolution to add "under God" to the pledge -- this, based on activism originated by the New York chapters of the Knights of Columbus.
August, 1892: The Doctor, Sarah, and Congressman Rabaut pick up Francis Bellamy, who has just finished his first draft of the Pledge, which did not include the phrase "under God." Bellamy says, "By gum, that's a cracking great addition. Wish I'd thought of it!" The four of them take off in the Tardis yet again.
October, 1787: All done after having finished drafting the U.S. Constitution, America's founding fathers are kicking back, enjoying pipes of tobacco and drinking like swine. The Tardis swoops in, depositing the Doctor, Sarah, Congressman Rabaut and Reverend Bellamy. Bellamy presents his revised Pledge to the assembled men, who agree that it is indeed "Good enough for us!" They all stand to make the pledge to the flag -- including the words, "under God". (Fortunately, the 'Betsy Ross' flag was created in 1777, requiring no additional time travel.)
Suddenly, Benjamin Franklin drunkenly lurches forward on his gout-swollen ankles. Unlike anybody else in the room (aside from the Doctor himself), Franklin has intuitive understanding of temporal mechanics and announces, "Gentlemen -- and attractive but charmingly under-dressed young lady -- I apologize, but we simply cannot say this pledge. It is indeed "good enough for us", but this pledge, these words, come to us long before their rightful time. We must let these events unfold as they will."
Meanwhile, as Franklin explains all the nuances of time-folds, paradoxes, and causality loops -- aided by the Doctor's helpful glowing illustrations in mid-air using the Sonic Screwdriver -- Rep. Rabaut casually slaps a mosquito which is biting him.
Wisely, the Founding Fathers opt not to adopt the Pledge, keeping it secret, but do insist to all present that it is eminently 'good enough for them.'
The Doctor bundles his companions back into the Tardis, depositing Rabaut and Bellamy back into their respective times and places. Unfortunately, there is a malfunction and... Well, let's just say that the Doctor and Sarah embark on months of kooky and wild adventures, including one memorable stop at Raxacoricofalapatorius.
March 2008 (redux): Eventually, Sarah discovers she's increasingly expecting, and it is this that causes her eventually to say farewell -- as all the good Doctor's companions must eventually do. He drops her back at the day she left -- but Sarah is now 7 months pregnant! Hoo boy, that takes some explaining!
And as for the rest of it? Blame it on the mosquito Rabaut slapped, creating an alternate timeline!
In this one, a far more foolish Sarah Palin unwisely went "beauty and jock" instead of sticking to her school studies, became a big-haired sports reader for a local TV station, joined the Alaska Independence Party in the 1990s, developed a habit of using her elected power to fire people she didn't like, heavily supported pork-barrel projects for her local constituencies and, sadly, turned out to be a know-nothing, anti-science, anti-environment, right-wing radical. Oh, and got the usual result for teaching one's kids 'abstinence only.'
So there!