As several of you are aware, my husband and I are fostering two children and are currently in the process of adopting them. Although the details aren't completely worked out as of today, we've just gotten the green light to start completing the veritable mound of paperwork required for adoption.
As a Floridian, I have long known about my state's ban on same-sex adoption and feel it is a travesty. When anywhere from 9,000 to 10,000 children each year go without long-term homes or stable families, our state should be increasing, not decreasing, the pool of loving parents who wish to open their homes and hearts to foster children in need.
However, nothing could prepare me for the mild shock I received when filling out the adoptive home application and encountering a single section that offended me to my core. Details at the jump.
As I am a straight, married woman, and my husband is a straight, married man, it never occurred to either of us that--after the volumes of paperwork we had to complete as a couple, the copies of marriage certificates we had to supply, and the hours and hours of Partnerships in Parenting classes we had to complete as a couple--we would yet have to again affirm our heterosexuality so that we could have the rights to adopt our foster children as our own.
Page 5, section G. of our adoptive home application reads (with check boxes for Yes and No):
Section 63.042(3), F.S. states that "no person eligible to adopt under this statute may adopt if that person is a homosexual."
I am a homosexual. Yes No
Husband (Man)
Wife (Woman)
I am a bisexual. Yes No
Husband (Man)
Wife (Woman)
In addition to the fact that I think that our state's law prohibiting same-sex adoption equality is Draconian B.S., I find this question on the application not only intrusive, but offensively stupid and redundant. If we are applying as a married het couple, isn't it assumed that (duh) we are not gay and thus able to BE married in Florida? Recall that same-sex marriage is already banned in Florida, and the despicably-supported Amendment 2 goes so far as to ban civil unions as well.
Is the Florida DCF automatically assuming that my husband and I would be "hiding" behind marriage in a closeted situation? Although this is definitely not the case, what business is it of theirs to interfere with what may be going on in our hearts and souls? Furthermore, if being gay or lesbian is what Florida feels is the worst that can happen to an adopted foster child--who has most likely already been beaten, neglected, and sometimes sexually abused by their biological STRAIGHT parents--why do they care to assume "the worst" about us?
The ugly insinuation of this part on the application form, of course, is that being gay or lesbian is a crime. It is interesting to note that, just above section G on our adoptive application is section F, which asks if either of us has had an arrest record, and if so, if we have had our civil rights restored. The implication of section F, which doesn't spell out any prohibitions of adoption if you've had an arrest record, is that being gay is not only equivalent to, but somehow worse than, being arrested.
Frustrated and angered, I emailed a number of my progressive friends with ties to the adoption and marriage equality organizations in our area. One of my friends was particularly helpful, with a wealth of resources and information about efforts in Florida to overturn the same-sex adoption ban, and to also pass two bills--one in the State House, one in the State Senate--that restore civil rights to Floridians regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity.
The bills in the Florida Legislature that would repeal the ban on same-sex adoption are as follows: HB 413 (State House Bill) and SB 500 (State Senate Bill). HB 413 is sponsored by State Representative Mary Brandenburg and is co-sponsored by State Representatives Abruzzo, Brisé, Culp (the lone Republican co-sponsoring the bill), Jenne, Kriseman, Pafford, Randolph, and Steinberg. SB 500 has one lone State Senator sponsoring it: Nan Rich of Davie.
We need more sponsors to get behind both bills and ensure their passage. If you live in Florida and want to thank the existing sponsors or urge your own Representative or Senator to sponsor the bills, click here to find and contact your State Rep and here to find and contact your State Senator. The Hillsborough County GLBTA Democratic Caucus, of which my husband and I are proud allied members, has a handy info sheet about the benefits of both bills, which also provides some talking points to formulate a message to our elected officials.
Another important bill in Florida that bears mentioning, and is related, of course, to same-sex adoption equality in Florida, is the Florida Civil Rights Bill. HB 397 will expand the existing civil-rights law in Florida to prohibit "discrimination based on sexual orientation, gender identity or expression, pregnancy, familial status, and marital status." State Representative Kelly Skidmore sponsors this bill; numerous Representatives have signed on as co-sponsors (see HB 397 link for a complete listing). A House Senate equivalent bill is yet to be drafted; Senator Ted Deutch is currently heading up this effort. Please see the above link to find your State Senator or Representative if you live in Florida. Again, Hillsborough County's GLBTA Democratic Caucus has supplied an info sheet with talking points to help guide you in your communications with state elected officials in Tallahassee.
Incidentally, after I exchanged emails with my friends and received this great info, Equality Florida sent me an email, also available at the Miami Herald's Steve Rothaus column, that announced this bit of promising news:
Historic Domestic Partnership Legislation Introduced
Sen. Eleanor Sobel (Hallandale Beach) has introduced a statewide Domestic Partnership bill (SB 1642). Equality Florida has been working closely with Sen. Sobel in preparing this historic legislation. The companion bill will be sponsored in the house by Rep. Richard Steinberg (Miami Beach). As a Miami Beach City Commissioner, Rep. Steinberg played a key role in passing Florida's strongest Domestic Partnership policy.
The introduction of these domestic partnership bills comes at a time when public support is at an all time high for this legislation. The latest polls show 77% of Floridians in favor of extending benefits to unmarried couples.
It also comes as a South Florida hospital is embroiled in a lawsuit for refusing to grant a woman access to her partner as she lay dying at Jackson Memorial Hospital. The case has provoked international outrage and highlights the vulnerability gay couples face when there is no legal framework to protect their families.
If passed, this bill would ensure committed, unmarried couples throughout Florida have access to basic legal rights like visiting each other in the hospital.
Yes, I'm pissed off by what I saw on our adoption application.
No, I'm not going to sit idly and stew in my anger. Anger is a great motivator for taking action, but taking action is what gets the job done. Won't you please join us?
Action Links Review, plus links to partnering organizations in Florida:
MyFloidaHouse.gov--find and contact your Florida State Representative
FLSenate.gov--find and contact your Florida State Senator
Hillsborough County GLBTA Democratic Caucus (Tampa area)
Equality Florida
Undo 2, the campaign to repeal Florida Amendment 2
Securing Our Children's Rights, an organization working for adoption equality in Florida